AllFreeNovel
Share Us
His head snapped up, and he fumbled with the button on his jeans. “Marsie. You’re not a coward. You’re the strongest woman I know. Strongest person. Something is wrong and we need to talk about it. We’re friends and we just made each other come. Even if you leave, we can’t get coffee on Monday and pretend it never happened.”
She nodded. “I know. Just give me tonight.”
He’d give her anything other than silence. “So we’ll talk tomorrow.”
Relief was evident as her entire body seemed to relax. “Yes. Tomorrow. Tomorrow is enough time.”
He pulled his shirt down and swiped at the floor for where he’d dropped his jacket. “I’ll come to your house. Tomorrow. Early. I’ll bring breakfast.”
Her cheeks twitched and he could tell that she wanted to argue with him, but didn’t feel like she could. Whatever was bothering her was clearly bad, so he said, “We could do later. Marsie, I want to give you what you need, but I can’t let this go. That’s not fair to me.”
“Yeah. I know. Breakfast is fine. I’ll make coffee. It’ll be fine.”
Confused and angry with her for not trusting him enough to talk with him right then and there, but wanting her to have the space she needed, Jason left.
* * *
AS SOON AS Jason walked out of her office, Marsie collapsed into her chair. She could smell the near-sex they’d had in her office. If she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, she could smell Jason on her, too. Probably his hair gel, which made her smile.
Everything about sex with Jason had made her smile. And scream. No pretending that there hadn’t been screaming and that most of it hadn’t been coming from her. Between his hands and his mouth, he’d hit all the right places. Amazing, considering that neither one of them had gotten fully undressed. And there’d been no need for a condom.
But then she’d peeled herself off him and her body had tingled and tickled and, even without penetration, she felt like she’d been fucked raw and vulnerable.
It had been the vulnerable part that scared her. The parts of her that screamed that she wasn’t good enough. The parts that could never be good enough, no matter how much she worked, because she might not care about the right thing, in the right way.
Jason could hurt her. She pulled her heels onto the end of her seat and hugged her legs, resting her head on her knees. Not just could hurt her. Probably would hurt her. Despite his recent comments about how awesome she was and how much he enjoyed spending time with her, how great it was that she’d gotten along with his friends, et cetera, he was looking for spark. He wanted to fall in love at first sight, and they hadn’t.
Were they even in love?
Sex wasn’t love. He’d never said he loved her. He’d never promised to love her. It’s not like she’d thought he was celibate as he waited for the one to walk into his life. He was a person with needs and a strong sense of honor. He probably had sex with women who knew there wouldn’t be anything more than a physical connection. Who knew he wasn’t looking for more and he wouldn’t love them.
Like her.
Hell, he’d pretty much said that he couldn’t love her. She didn’t fit into his rules for what love was.
He doesn’t fit into what your rules for love are, either.
The fluorescent light in her office buzzed. The hallway outside was dark. Jason had closed her blinds, so the rest of the world might as well not exist. There was nothing in her office to distract her from her thoughts, if she even wanted to be distracted. Because those pesky thoughts were right. He’d never promised to love her, had defined love as something other than what they shared, and she was no different.
She was stuck in her chair, her underwear getting sticky and uncomfortable, knowing that she’d gotten herself in this position. She’d helped define the rules of their relationship, as well as being strident about the rules for who she would fall in love with.
And then she’d gone and let herself fall in love with a kind, generous, interesting and funny man who made her blood hot and didn’t meet any of the expectations she’d set out for herself and the kind of man she would fall for.
