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“You looked at mine.” She heard the accusation in her voice and knew that it, combined with her blush, only made her look guilty. She didn’t even know what she had to feel guilty about.
Rating your friend, her conscience said.
“I did,” he said with a nod. “But only after I saw that you looked at mine.”
“It came through my matches. I was curious. You would be, too.” Lame, lame, lame.
“Of course. That’s why I looked at yours in return.” He smiled at her, his glorious smile that lit up his face and brightened his eyes and brushed the difficulties of life away. She noticed the broken nose now and wasn’t sure how she had missed it all this time. The imperfection made his face more interesting and somehow made his smile brighter.
“Do you want my comments?” he asked, both brows raised.
“Um…” The scientist in her said yes. She wouldn’t get better feedback from anyone else, not even Beck. The woman in her who liked his smile was horrified by what he would say. “Only if I can give you feedback on yours.”
Though she didn’t know what she would say. His profile had been completely charming.
“Okay.” His voice was light and easy and friendly, like he didn’t think he had anything to worry about. Which he probably didn’t. He didn’t overthink like she did.
“You can go first,” he said as he leaned back in his chair and crossed one leg over the other.
“I didn’t know you liked hockey. Or that you couldn’t skate.”
“I’m a Southern boy. None of us can ice skate. But that’s not really a comment on my profile, so much as about what we talk about.”
They were friends. She could just be honest. It’s not like it would cost her anything, even if it felt like she was opening up her chest to him so that he could critique on her heart. “Your profile was cute. I didn’t see anything about it that I would change.”
“Oh.” She’d clearly surprised him again. “Thanks. That’s nice to hear.”
“What?” she asked. Something lingered behind this quick thanks.
“I thought you would have suggestions. Because I think you probably always have suggestions.”
She searched his face to see if he meant that as a possible insult, but she didn’t see anything other than flat honesty. “I’m not very good at this. Maybe the fact that I have no suggestions is a bad thing, and you should do the opposite.”
“Like opposite day at school,” he said, one corner of his mouth lifting.
She smiled back in return. It was so easy to do around him. “Yes. Just like that.”
She waited, but he didn’t say anything more…and he didn’t launch into talking about hers. Which meant he had something to say, and it probably wasn’t an easy thing. “So, my profile?” she prompted.
“Right.” His mouth twitched.
She’d spent so much time thinking about every word in her profile, and his mouth twitched with humor when he thought about it. Clearly, she hadn’t spent enough time.
“Here’s the thing.” God, those were horrible words. No sentence should ever start with a man saying that, especially not when he feels like he has to lean closer to you and put his elbow on his knee. “You’re interesting. You used to make money playing poker online, which is cool. You study ways to make people healthier by actually getting them the health care they need when they need it. You’re funny and sharp, and none of that comes out in your profile. It’s clinical. Like you put too much thought into it.”
He looked at her, and her face must have given away the reality, because he sucked his breath in and said, “Oh. You did put too much thought into it. Of course you did.”
“So it’s bad.” Maybe that’s why she wasn’t attracted to the men who were responding to her profile. Maybe it wasn’t her algorithm at all. Maybe she’d turned off the right man from the start.
But she’d A/B tested it. On men like the ones she wanted to settle down with.
Spark. That stupid word of Jason’s again. She didn’t have spark with any of the men she’d tested her profile with. Of course, she didn’t have spark with Jason, either—he’d said so—so why should she listen to him?
