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‘I’m not a very good flier.’ Amanda felt compelled to offer an explanation. ‘Take-off and landing is the worst but I don’t really relax on board at all.’
‘Lots of people feel that way.’ The nurse nodded.
Truth was she’d been so preoccupied with Jared she’d hardly noticed the plane take off. He seemed to have cured her of that anxiety—by being a far greater source of stress himself.
She’d sat on her bed all night and waited for the dark sky to lighten. Driving in his car—his scent subtly surrounding her…her anger hadn’t gone, but was more muted and the pain had pierced as the true meaning of his offer crystallised.
To be some kind of mistress? She couldn’t imagine a life more lonely than to have only a tenth of the man she wanted everything of. To be compartmentalised in his life so completely. Only to warm his bed on the nights he was cold.
He was ice all through.
She was in love with him. She’d been in love with him for years. But what he was offering wasn’t enough—too little, too painful. The fact he’d offered such an arrangement hurt enough already. Yet the proof that he was so emotionless, that he could seriously contemplate such a soulless scheme, didn’t destroy her love for him. It made her heart ache for him as well as for herself. He’d been so broken, had so little trust in relationships. She could only hope that there was someone out there who might help him to be whole one day.
But she wasn’t that person.
‘Your grandfather will settle in quickly. We’ve got a lot of experience in dealing with patients like him.’
Amanda nodded, blinking to stop the tears from falling, and guilt rolled in like clouds in a sudden squall. She was awful—she should be thinking about her grandfather instead of Jared. Her mission today was far more important. She suppressed the wretchedness with a huge effort, tried to blink the scratchiness from her eyes.
She and the nurse walked from the plane straight to the rental car waiting for them at the airport. It was amazing what money could do. Jared had been right. She’d visited the home and they’d confirmed a place for the next week. It seemed that with the right amount of money anything you wanted could happen.
No wonder he thought he could get her to move too. It’d be just another transaction to make his life more convenient.
‘I’ll drive if you like,’ the nurse offered. ‘You have a rest before seeing your grandfather.’
The woman was worth her weight in gold. And Jared was probably paying her in it. Amanda closed her eyes and let her drive.
Things went smoothly once they arrived. Having the nurse with her meant she had a buffer from the rest-home staff. Colin was dressed and ready. She’d talked to him every night this week, explaining that she was coming to get him so he could live nearer, but not going into too much detail to confuse or stress him. The specialist at the new home had instructed her on how to handle it. She could only be guided by his expertise. Determinedly hiding her own anxiety, she introduced the nurse as her friend who was coming on the trip with them. Her grandfather smiled.
Jared looked at his watch—again. She’d be at the rest home, just as she would have been forty seconds ago when he’d last looked at his watch and thought about where she was, how she was. He seemed to have developed some sort of nervous tic—obsessive watch-checking.
Obsessiveness full stop.
What the hell did the woman want?
He gave up on the report on his desk and went to look out of the window. Still wondering how it was going. Whether she was OK. Whether he should have gone. But he hadn’t wanted to go—didn’t want to face the old man. Just in case Colin remembered that he hadn’t wanted him involved with his granddaughter. He hadn’t thought Jared was good enough for her. But things were different now, right? He wasn’t the person he’d been back then. He had money now—lots of money. A great job. Respect. Dignity.
That was what the old man had wanted, right?
But Jared couldn’t be sure. Or was it something intrinsic, something so much a part of his nature that it couldn’t be divorced from him, that the old man had determined wasn’t good enough for his precious girl?
Maybe there was something unwanted about him—something his mother hadn’t wanted. That nobody wanted.
Linda Dixon had been merciless. When he’d tried to politely refuse her advances she’d simply come on stronger. When he’d been firmer, she’d got nasty. Said she could make life very difficult for him—could cost him his jobs. But it had been the ravings of a bitter, frustrated woman, right?
‘You’re a stud, Jared. It’s all you have to offer a woman, but it’s enough to get by. You’ll never amount to anything else. You should make the most of your assets now before you fall apart like your father.’
