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What the hell had happened to Rami at Lydia’s?
Everything they’d done had been because they needed each other, and Catelyn had been feeling more and more that the need they shared was about more than business. The time they spent together in the bedroom was fierce and hot and fun, but it was also restorative in a way that she hadn’t expected. When she and Rami were in bed together, nothing else mattered—her head was clear. The trials of the wedding planning business no longer nagged at her. She felt ready to face the world. To conquer it.
It was too strange to sit in her old bedroom for long, so Catelyn went back into the hallway. The wall leading to the stairs was full of pictures, and she lingered in front of them, searching for evidence that her parents had hated each other enough to get divorced more than once.
Her parents had been unhappy. She was sure of it. They’d fought and split up more times than she could count, and she’d carried that with her into adulthood. No wonder Rami’s offer of a year of marriage had been so attractive. The truth was, love was fickle, and it was always best to have an exit strategy. Her parents had proven that.
But looking at the photos on the wall, she couldn’t find any hint of it.
In every picture of her parents, they were smiling. Laughing. Holding hands. Teasing each other. Yes, it was true—they’d gotten divorced or separated again and again, but here they were, getting remarried and throwing commitment ceremonies an equal number of times. Her mother had worn at least six different wedding dresses. All those pictures were outnumbered by the photos that contained all three of them, arms thrown around each other—in the front yard, on vacation, at the local ice cream shop.
These pictures, she realized with a start, weren’t a warning not to fall in love. They were a testament to the power of falling anyway, even when it hurt.
Over and over, her parents had tried again. They’d refused to give up on each other, even when they couldn’t stand each other. Even when it caused a rift in the entire family. She couldn’t forget the Thanksgiving that had been so awful—the sullen silences, the cutting remarks—when she’d known they were going to split. She’d known that was going to be the end of it, and her stomach had roiled with that knowledge all day. For years, Catelyn had hated that memory. She’d told the story often in the course of becoming intimate friends with other people, especially Laura and Daisy.
And yet she’d never seen the flip side.
They’d been so pissed at each other that year, but they’d still come together for a family celebration. Her parents had failed miserably at making it a celebration, but they’d given it a shot. Both of them had been hurt. Both of them had reasons.
Catelyn’s mother had never taken down the photos.
She raised a hand and ran her fingertips along the lower edge of one of the frames. It held a portrait of the happy couple on yet another wedding day, her mother wearing
her fourth wedding dress. This photo, along with all the others, had remained in the same spot on the wall.
Even when they were fighting, even when they were separated, her mother had left the photos hanging up. For everyone to see.
There were two sides to every story—at least. Her parents’ story had many sides. But the most important side of all was the way they fought for each other. That was what mattered, in the end.
Catelyn went down the stairs, heart stinging with regret.
She shouldn’t have walked away from Rami like that.
The list of mistakes, she saw, went all the way back to that first agreement. Why hadn’t she insisted on something different? Why had she chosen the most painful path? It was stupid, to put up so many barriers between them. The agreement to divorce after a year was a black cloud over them both, something that dogged them even in their happiest moments. It was like they were begging the universe to keep them firmly apart so that they could never fall in love and risk heartbreak.
Well, heartbreak had come anyway. Catelyn had turned her back on him. And Rami had turned his back on her. He’d dismissed her after all they’d done to prepare for this meeting—dismissed her outright, in front of Lydia. It didn’t matter that they’d sworn that the arrangement was business. It didn’t matter at all. It hurt just as much.
The street outside Catelyn’s parents’ house fell into shadow as the sun set, and she flipped the lock on the front door and turned on all the lights. She cooked herself a batch of buttery noodles and brought it to the same sofa that had sat in her parents’ living room for years, under the blanket her mom had picked out from a department store in the mall when Catelyn was sixteen.
It was lonely, but at least it was familiar.
Catelyn slept in her old bed that night, and every time she woke up, she had trouble placing herself in time. She listened for the creak of her mother’s footsteps on the other side of the hall, remembering after a few beats that they weren’t there.
Nobody was there. She missed Rami in bed next to her. She pulled the covers up tight and tried not to think about it.
The next morning, she woke up early. The ache had settled low in her chest, and it beat with a wish that would never come true.
Catelyn wished for a second chance.
One more shot to get it right.
She wished it all the way to the airport and all the way through security and all the way to the gate. She wished it while her plane to New Jersey lifted off the runway. And she wished it in the sky while the miles between her and Rami grew wider and wider until finally she was sure they would never be close again.
20
Laura opened the door to the office and narrowed her eyes. “Rami? What’s going on?”
“It’s a long story,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “May I come in?”
