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Jake resisted the impulse to hug her. “You need to stop thinking about it and focus on building the business. If a door closes, open the next one.”
She nodded. “That’s the theory, but a lot of doors are closing.”
“Matt doesn’t know any of this?”
“No. I can’t deal with him right now. We’d argue about it and I’m not giving up my dream because of a bunch of oversexed lawyers.” She rubbed her fingers over her forehead. “What can I do, Jake? Tell me what to do. I need help.”
“Apart from the lawyers—” and he had his own plans for them “—who have you called? Last time I saw you in the restaurant you told me it was going well.”
“I lied. It’s not going well. I have called everyone. Everyone we ever worked with at Star Events, everyone we wanted to work with, and everyone we hadn’t even got around to thinking about working with. I have pounded the streets and apart from the lawyers, the only business we’ve got so far is to deliver one person’s dry cleaning and make a birthday cake for a ninety-year-old who is, by the way, Eva’s new best friend. Which is lovely, but doesn’t create any business. I had no idea it would be so hard.”
“It’s always tough at the beginning.” Jake gave her the advice he would have given to any other person asking for his thoughts on a start-up. “You face countless rejections. Everyone does. It’s part of the process.”
“There’s tough and there’s ‘not h
appening.’ Right now this isn’t happening and I’m spending hours a day on it.”
“You’ve got to look past the highs and lows.”
“I’m still waiting for the highs. Even a molehill would be welcome.” Her crooked smile tugged at him and he resisted the urge to reach out and comfort her.
“The highs will come.”
“What if they don’t? At what point do I give up and look for a job? I don’t have time to do both. If I stand any hope of making this work I have to give it my all, and if it were only about me I’d carry on until the bitter end, but it isn’t just me.” She bent to rub her ankle and a glint of silver caught the light as something slid forward from the neck of her shirt. “I’m worried about Frankie and Eva. I’m responsible for them, and I wasn’t prepared for how that would feel. I’m lying awake at night panicking about it.”
He stared at the necklace. It had been hidden under her shirt, invisible.
A million memories came flooding back.
She caught his eye and quickly tucked it away.
“I didn’t know you still had that.” His voice was as rough as sandpaper and she blushed awkwardly.
“You gave it to me the night before my operation. For courage. Remember?”
He remembered. He remembered plastic cups brimming with really bad coffee, tired-looking doctors in white coats, too busy saving lives to stop and talk. He remembered echoing corridors and anxious relatives. And Paige. White-faced and brave, keeping everything inside. Except for that one time when she’d lowered her guard and opened her heart.
That one time he’d crushed it.
“I assumed you’d lost it years ago.”
“No. I kept it safe. It reminds me to be strong when life is tough. And right now life is definitely tough. I’m scared for the future, not for me because I have my parents and Matt, even though I would hate to have to turn to them, but for Eva and Frankie. They put their faith in me. I can’t let them down.”
The necklace was no longer visible but it didn’t make a difference because now he knew it was there.
It felt strangely intimate, seeing something he’d given her in close contact with that creamy skin.
His throat closed. He dragged his gaze from the neck of her shirt and forced himself to concentrate on what she was saying. “You didn’t force this on them. It was their decision.”
“But they wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t driven it. This was down to me and—” She rubbed her fingers over her forehead. “You’ve run your own business for ages. How are you not stressed out every minute of the day?”
“I’m not employing people I’ve known since I was ten years old.”
“Six,” she said absently. “We were six. Eva fell over in the classroom and Frankie picked her up, which has pretty much been the pattern ever since. But it isn’t one-sided. Eva softens Frankie. She makes her laugh and relax. We’re a good team, but somehow that makes it harder, not easier.”
“I can see how working with your closest friends would add an emotional dimension, but you have to ignore that side of it. Don’t let emotion color your judgment.”
“How? How do you switch that off? How do you stop your feelings getting in the way?”
