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“Yeah, I do.”
“And you’re going to allow that to happen?” she directs her question to Ryley, who sits stone faced and unanswering.
“Mom, Ryley didn’t leave me, nor did I leave her. She was mine and when I came home, I flat out expected a fucking homecoming, but instead I find out that my brother moved in on my family instead of protecting them like he vowed to do.”
“Nate would never do anything to hurt you, Evan.”
“Yet he did.”
“You were dead. What was he supposed to do?”
I throw my hands up in exasperation. “Geez, mom, I don’t know, not covet my fucking girl.”
“Watch your mouth.”
I shake my head. “I think I’ve earned the right to drop the f-bomb after the shit I’ve been through.” I can’t sit any longer. I stand up and start pacing, stopping and looking at the mantle of dead servicemen. I want to take mine down and throw it against the wall, but that’s something I’ll save for my mom.
“Are you really my son?” her voice cracks as I nod.
“He is,” Ryley says. “And before you go assuming anything, you should know that Evan and I started therapy this week, and we’re trying to find a peaceful resolution.”
I shrug. “Ryley’s may be peaceful. I intend to fight.”
“They’re getting married, Evan; surely you don’t want to ruin their wedding.”
I glance from Ryley, who knows exactly that’s what I plan to do, to my mother who is going to bat for Nate and realize that everything Ryley has said is true. “Mom, when I left she was my fiancée. We didn’t break up, so as far as I’m concerned she’s still mine.”
“Oh, Evan, everything is so much more complicated than that.”
“I know about EJ and Nate. EJ also kn
ows that I’m his dad. I’m not expecting things to change overnight, but I am expecting some changes. I didn’t die, mom. My life didn’t stop. I didn’t lose my memory, and I wasn’t held captive. I came home and thought my family was waiting for me. I was wrong, but my family is trying, and that’s all I need right now. You can be on Nate’s side all you want, but as far as I’m concerned he’s dead to me. All he had to do was protect Ryley and EJ. Instead, he thought he’d take advantage of the situation.”
“He thought you were dead,” she roars, protecting him. “We all did.” She points to the mantle behind me. “It’s not like he made a conscious decision to go after Ryley. Believe me, Evan, I begged him not to. I begged her not to. But as I’ve been reminded many times, they’re adults and they fell in love. Don’t blame your brother when he’s not here to defend himself.”
She stands and glares at Ryley before leaving the room. This homecoming isn’t going like I thought it would. Hell, none of them are. Maybe I was better off being dead.
The tug on my shorts cuts short my pity party. I look down to find EJ staring at me. “Hi, EJ,” I say, unsure of what I should call him. I’d like to call him buddy or junior, but don’t want to if that’s what Nate calls him.
“Can you come outside and play wif me?”
I glance at Ryley, who’s nodding. “You bet,” I say to EJ, who takes my hand and pulls me through the house to the backyard that holds a nice-sized jungle gym.
I DON’T KNOW IF I expected Julianne’s icy demeanor toward me to change when she saw Evan, but I definitely didn’t expect her to sling a verbal attack my way to take the blame off of Nate. When Nate and I were growing closer, no one more than me tried to put the brakes on our relationship. It just grew, everything just happened. You reach a point where there’s no turning back because if you do, you lose your best friend and I couldn’t afford to lose him too.
I still can’t afford to lose him. I know I will eventually. There’s only so much one person can take, and the moment he finds out that Evan is alive it’s going to be a fight or flight situation. He either stays and fights for EJ and me and could lose us all, or he leaves and it’s EJ and I losing. We’re in a no-win situation and have the Navy to thank for it.
Someone is to blame for Evan being gone for so long. Someone needs to explain why we were told he and everyone else was dead. Someone needs to pay and take the blame for this mistake or whatever it is they’re calling it. We need answers and guidance. We need reassurance that this will never happen again. I need to know why they sent care packages on my behalf but watched as I mourned the love of my life. Who does that to people?
“Mom kick you out?”
Livvie comes into view. She looks more like Evan than Nate and it used to be hard to look at her. When she was younger, we got along well. She was the sister I always wanted, but never had. I used to have her antagonize the girls Nate would bring home. I never thought any of them were good enough for him except for Cara. She left when he wouldn’t leave the SEALs after Evan died. I know she was scared – I was too – but it’s no reason to turn your back on the one you love.
I look away from Livvie and roll my eyes. I don’t want a confrontation with her, but I know one is coming. She hates me. I don’t blame her. Not only did I give Nate the green light to go back to active duty, I did the incomprehensible to her by being with him. She told me that I was desecrating Evan’s memory. She’s probably right, and it makes me wonder if that is how Evan feels now.
“Is EJ here?”
“Yeah, he’s here… with Evan.”
