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He sure was. Cold settles in my bones when I recall how damn awful he’d looked, and that reminds me of my panic as I raced back here to check on him.
Dragging my steps, I join them on the bed, sit beside Sydney. I don’t wanna think, I don’t wanna feel. Emotions rattle me, scare me by raising the stakes too damn high. So I shut them away inside, letting the cold encase me in ice.
Until night comes, and they chase me in my dreams, wearing the faces of demons.
Chapter Fifteen
Nate
Kash is leaving? What the fuck? And it shouldn’t hit me this hard. In fact, I shouldn’t be upset at all. I should be glad. Isn’t this what I wanted? For him to go away and not hang around Sydney any longer, spoiling my chances with her?
But it’s a fist to my stomach, a steel hand wrapping around my lungs and twisting. Hazy memories of Kash dragging me to the party Saturday night cloud my mind, meshing with images of him pulling me up from the bathroom floor and helping me downstairs and into the cab that brought me home.
&nb
sp; Of him standing at my bedroom door this morning, hands restlessly playing with the frayed cuffs of his denim jacket, asking me if I needed anything before he went to work.
No, dammit, I should be glad to see him go. I barely know him.
He barely knows us.
And it’s so much better that way. West sees too much for comfort already, and Syd… Fuck, I’d die before I told her the truth.
I’d fucking die.
“Nate? You listening to me?” Sydney pokes me in the ribs and I grunt, shoving at her without thinking. “Ow.”
“Sorry. I just…” …don’t like people touching me without permission, without me noticing and preparing for it, and since when do I have that freedom, huh? This is bullshit, and Jesus Fucking Christ, Nate, get yourself together. “Sorry.”
West steadies her as I shake the cobwebs from my mind and shoots me a glare. “Careful, man. You could hurt her.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry, Syd.” My breathing is choppy, so I try to hide it by leaning back and yawning wide.
“You’re tired,” she says, and I feel fucking bad for manipulating her like that. Better than seeing me freak out, though.
“Yeah. I think I’ll catch some Zs.”
“You just woke up,” West mutters. “And damn, I should get home, make Grandpa some lunch.”
Sydney glances from him to me. “You go. I’ll stay with him, make him something to eat, too.”
“I don’t need a fucking babysitter,” I grumble.
“Watch it, Nate.” West’s voice is a low growl. “She’s being nice. Say thanks.”
I roll my eyes. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” she says, sticking her tongue out to me and I relax a little.
She doesn’t seem to have noticed anything off about me. Neither of them seems to have.
That’s a fucking relief.
“Be good,” West tells me, squeezing my shoulder, and nods at Sydney. “Call me if he’s being difficult.”
The hell? “Hey, this isn’t kindergarten, Weston. Give it a rest.”
He laughs like a hyena and heads out the door, leaving me alone with the one girl I want but who doesn’t want me back.
