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“No, I don’t.” Though I have a nasty suspicion. Please let me be wrong. “Tell me.”
“Think you could help?” She sounds skeptical and rightly so, if my guess is correct. “I needed some help choosing a vibrating buttplug, you see, and Jet already said he doesn’t know much about those.”
My jaw goes slack. I can feel it unhinging. It takes me a long moment to find my voice and the words to form a question. “And you thought your son might know?”
It’s a legit question. Not just because Holden is her son, but also because he’s, well, Holden. Quiet and withdrawn and probably asexual.
Nothing wrong with that. Only… yeah. Vibrating buttplugs?
“Jet said vibrators are the bomb, and he’s right. But I mentioned to him that I’m a back door virgin and he suggested buttplugs. Such a considerate, helpful young man, your Jethro.”
Holy crap. Jet and I need to have a little talk…
Also, oh God, did my mom just utter the words “back door virgin”?
“Mom, you don’t need a buttplug, vibrating or otherwise. Trust me.”
“And why not? You dad sure as hell isn’t going to give me what I need.”
A vise tightens around my chest. “And what’s that?”
She sighs. “A woman has needs, Candy. You know that.”
“But at your age—”
“My age? I’m not old! My sex drive is perfectly fine, thank you very much. I had this boyfriend in college, he was a sex machine. He’d hammer me day and night, until I walked funny every morning, and—”
?
?Oh God, Mom, stop.” I push my glasses up my nose, irritated.
“You don’t want me to be happy?”
God. I just don’t want to think about my parents having sex, with each other, or other people. Like, ew.
But Jet’s right. I sometimes forget that they are people like you and me, and that sex is important in a relationship.
Speaking of which… “Have you talked to Dad about your experimentation?”
“He won’t even try to understand me.”
“But Mom… you love him, right?” The pause that follows isn’t encouraging. “Mom?”
“Relationships are a complicated thing, jellybean.”
“I know that!”
Oh my God. She’s leaving Dad, I just know it.
Does he know it?
“Baby girl, is Jethro around? Could I talk to him for a minute?”
“You called me because you want to talk to Jet? About vibrating buttplugs? Seriously?”
“Oh no, of course not.”
“Really? Should I believe you?”
