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We both arch back at the same time. His hand drops to my waist, his hips roll up, and I rock on top of him, grabbing his shoulders for leverage. The movement shifts his cock inside me, and I gasp, hot sparks flying up my spine. My breasts tighten, my nipples stiff like pebbles, aching.
I lift a little, lower myself again, and he groans my name. I do it again, rippling around him.
“Yeah. Like that. Fuck.” His fingers tighten on my waist, blunt fingernails digging in a little. “Do it, babe. Lose yourself.”
I’m close. Can’t believe I’m so close again already. Swallowing another moan, I spread my legs more, taking him deeper, and he shudders. He’s close, too, his body tensing up.
“Come for me,” he hisses. “God, I fucking love it when you come on my cock.”
And I come, his words shooting through me like wildfire. Gasping, I clench around him, again. And again. As he grits his teeth and shakes underneath me, his cock jerking inside me, I can only think that I’ve never been so happy in my life.
Not even when I thought I’d become a first class ballet dancer.
Nothing compares to being with Seth and somehow I know nothing ever will.
***
I’m not allowed into the room when he meets with his mom. I wait outside, in my car, with my ereader and a cup of Starbucks latte. Trying in vain to focus on the words on the screen and read the novel I started last week.
Yeah, no way. Can’t remember a single thing I’ve read in the past hour. Hopeless. So I get out of the car and pace in the parking lot, jumping up and down to get warm.
I’m… stressed. Okay, in fact I’m scared. Scared of what this meeting might do to Seth. Can’t imagine how hard it must be to reconcile his feelings about his mom. His love for her, his sadness, the anger that consumed him for years, the bitterness that seeped into his mind… How did her confession change the way he sees her?
And as if that isn’t complicated enough, what she tells him now, how she reacts may change things all over again.
I always thought it unfair my mom’s gone so far away from me, that I was practically left with one parent in the world. These past weeks have changed the way I look at my life. Now I’m grateful I know both my parents love me. That at least one of them is supportive and present.
When Seth finally comes out of the jail house, I run to him, catch his hands. I mean to ask him how it went, but the look on his face isn’t clear, so I just wrap my arms around him and we stand there, in the gray early September afternoon.
“Okay?” I whisper after a while, pulling back.
“Okay.” He gives me a ghost of a smile.
I don’t ask what she said, what he answered. His good arm snakes around my waist, and we walk back to my car in silence. I don’t expect him to talk about what happened at the prison.
So I’m a bit shocked when he does.
“It was fucking strange, seeing her.” He shifts in his seat, awkwardly pulling the seatbelt on as I start the engine. “I mean, in my dreams she hasn’t changed, but she looks old now. Too thin, too…bitter. You can see it in her face.”
“She did bad things,” I mutter. “Makes sense.”
“She insists she didn’t think much about me and Shane—for years. Fucking years. Always high on one drug or another. Never living in the present.” His good hand taps on his leg, fingers drumming. “Trying to escape the truth, I guess.”
I reach over, squeeze his hand. “Yeah.”
“She apologized. As if her apologies could cut it. Dammit.” He knocks his elbow into the window. “She has no idea.”
God, can’t bear to hear him so sad. “Maybe we shouldn’t have come.”
“No.” He sighs. “No, it was good. I’m glad I saw her.”
“Really? Should I believe you?”
He sends me a quick smile. “Yeah. Put some ghosts to rest. And she said…” He swallows, the knot in his throat bobbing. “Said she loves me. Maybe it’s bullshit, you know? Maybe it means nothing to her, but it does to me. Needed to hear it.”
I get that. And then I think to myself, if he could do this, find the courage to face his demons, then I can damn well call my mom and tell her about the change in my studies.
Comes with the territory of being the girl of one of the bravest people I know.
