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“Nothing.” I herd Erin and Jax to the table, then turn to haul Ash, Audrey and a sleepy Scott there too, leaving Rafe and Megan to decide where to place the travel crib and settle little Zane inside.
Damn, I need to find a nickname for the kid, or this is gonna get confusing inside my head real quickly. What can I call him? Zan? Zed? Zany? Zay?
Rafe’s Brat?
Dylan brings out the roast, and I follow him into the kitchen to help with the rest—potatoes, salad, bread and homemade Venezuelan Guasacaca, a spicy avocado-based dip made thanks to a new recipe given to us by Erin’s mom.
It smells damn fine, and I let calm settle over me as I carry the dishes to the table. This is my home now. And I’ll fix whatever is wrong.
Satisfied everyone’s seated and getting served, I sit beside Erin and clasp her hand in mine as I take in the familiar faces around me—Ash with his spiky dark hair talking quietly to Audrey with her red hair and her freckles, Dylan grinning like an idiot as he teases his brothers about the amount of food they’ve piled on their plates, Rafe’s blond head bent close to Megan’s dark one as they look toward the travel crib where Zany—Zay?—is asleep.
Zay sounds good. Jackpot.
And then I have Erin and Jax on either side of me. Beautiful. Perfect. Mine to keep and hold.
“Welcome,” I say and raise my glass. “Great to have you here. Guys, I…” I swallow hard, and for some strange reason my throat feels clogged. “Look, I’ve wanted to say this for a while. So here goes. I don’t think I ever got to thank you for being there for me when I needed you. For saving me when I needed someone to pull me back from the edge. So here’s to you. I’m fucking grateful we made it this far, and we have each other, that we have found the strength to go on. I’m fucking grateful for all of you.” I turn to Erin and she leans her head on my shoulder. “And above all for my sexy wife-to-be and my very understanding kids. They’re the reason I’m still sane.”
They’re parts of me. Keepers of my soul.
I don’t say that, but I know it.
Silence spreads over us, until my brother breaks it, clearing his throat.
“I’ll drink to sexy wives and understanding kids.” Ash raises his glass, his pale eyes too bright, and the knot in my throat grows, because he also deserves a special mention for forgiving me, for taking me back into his life although I wasn’t here for him when he needed me. “And it’s not us you should be thanking, big bro. It’s Zen-man.”
Only he’s not here, and we really need to talk about him.
Dammit, Zane. What Dylan told me has twisted me up inside, though he didn’t know to tell me the why.
One way or another, I’ll find out. Fix the problem and make us whole again. I swear, next time the Brotherhood sits at the table to eat together, it will be all of us, no matter what it takes.
Pushing the worry to t
he back of my mind as best I can, I nod at everyone. “Dig in!”
***
Audrey is feeding a green paste to a fussy Scott, Megan is feeding a sleepy Zay, and Erin’s fast asleep already, one arm around Jax, the baby asleep in her crib by the bed.
I never knew how much work it can be, bringing a baby into the world, caring for her night and day until she’s old enough to fend for herself. Needless to say I have even more respect now than I ever did for my girl who went through all this alone when she was sixteen. I mean, I didn’t even know about it until Jax was four.
Not my fault, and yet I can’t help but regret not having been there for them both. This time, though… this time I’m here, and I’ll make sure they have everything they need, my help in everything, and that nothing bad will be able to touch them.
Same goes for my friends, and I sigh as I return to the living room where the guys are sitting.
I’d have liked the girls to be here with us, too, but maybe it’s better this way, to get a clear picture of what’s going on first before I worry Erin more. What she needs is a vacation, not more stress, and we’d planned to follow her parents to Venezuela, her mom’s home country, this summer.
Then Erin got pregnant, and we canceled the plans.
Now, though, as soon as Isabella grows a little bit more, after the wedding, I’m taking my wife on a honeymoon. She doesn’t know it yet. My plan is to fuck. Fuck a lot. Make her come a lot, make her scream with pleasure, and then massage her feet and drink cocktails with her by a pool until she’s rested enough for the next round.
What can I say? She is the sexiest girl on earth. And we need some alone time.
But first…
I take my seat beside Dylan and nod at Rafe and Ash who’re drinking ice-cold beer, absently checking my stack of motorcycle magazines.
“So…” Rafe drops the magazine he’d been leafing through on the coffee table and takes a deep draught of his beer. “Spill. What got your fucking panties in a twist?”
