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“Come over to my place,” she says, her voice low and hesitant. “Everyone else will be out of town. We can eat together.”
“No.” The word spills from my lips before I even think about it. I don’t need to think about it. “No.”
Zane winces. “Come on, fucker, she’s being real nice. It’s Christmas. You can’t stay here all by yourself.”
“Sure I can.”
There’s pain in her eyes and I curse softly, my chest tightening so much I have to reach up and rub it. I hate causing her pain—but it’s for her own good.
Have to keep reminding myself that.
She gets up, not looking at me, and her voice is thick when she says, “Think about it. Please, Ash. I’d love you to come.”
Goddammit. She doesn’t sound like she’s faking it. I’ve wished for her to speak those words a thousand times in the past. Would have given my right arm to hear them.
You have to be careful what you wish for in this messed-up world.
***
“She was trying to be nice,” Zane mutters after Audrey and Dakota have left. He runs his hands through the stubble on the sides of his shaved head. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Many things,” I say. “Want a list?”
“Shut up.”
“You asked.”
Zane comes to stand over me, wearing a dark scowl. “You think you’re funny?”
I shrug. “Do you think I’m funny
?”
“Dammit, Ash.” He straightens. “I didn’t want to let her come ’cause I thought she’d be a bitch. Turns out it’s you I should have been worried about.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, fucker. You could at least be civil. You could be friends.”
“She doesn’t need a friend like me.”
“The hell she doesn’t. What the fuck does that even mean—a friend like me?” He mimics my voice, making a face. “This is bull and you know it.”
“If you say so.” I don’t need this shit.
“You’re one of the most decent guys I know, Ash. So get your head out of your ass and head over for Christmas.”
That is so not happening. I set my beer on the table, my hands shaking. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready for your trip?”
“Trying to get rid of me? The voice of reason?”
“Kiss my ass, Z-man.”
“No, thank you, I’m good. Going to pack now.”
He leaves to his bedroom and I sit staring at the opposite wall. Christmas. It’s in two days. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.
Time passes so fast. What do I have to show for it? I need to set my plan into motion to earn enough money, find a place to stay, return to my evening classes and finish my GED. That may open some doors.
