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“You have a good list here.”
“Really?” It’s not until this very moment that I realize I was waiting for his approval.
“Yeah.”
“Do you have a favorite from the list?” I ask curiously.
He nods. “Sawyer and Nash.”
Oh, those are some of my favorites. Okay, so all the ones on the list are favorites, but it makes my heart extra happy that he found some he likes too. A smile easily rests on my lips as we finish eating. I tidy up a little bit, but cleaning can wait until later.
“Make yourself at home, FC. I’m going to shower and change into my pajamas unless you want to go out somewhere tonight?”
FC shakes his head. “I’m good with relaxing here.”
With that, I leave him in the living room while I take a shower. When I rejoin him twenty minutes later, FC paces in my living room.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, startling him as he whirls to face me.
He shrugs, turning away. “Got a call from Lila. We’re just arguing.”
Before I took my shower, FC was nearly relaxed. Now? He’s like a caged animal with tension rolling off him in waves and suffocating all the air in my apartment. His arms are stiff by his sides, his fists clench and unclench as if he’s dying to hit something. FC suddenly turns to face me and he stalks toward me like I’m his prey. My heart trips and for a brief second, I’m frightened.
“You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?” he asks when we’re nearly nose to nose.
“No,” I manage to breathe.
“Why the fuck are we even friends?” What? “Why am I good enough to be your friend, Idaline? Tell me how I deserve you.”
Where is this coming from? Why in the word is he questioning our friendship and why he deserves me? My first reaction is to hug FC. Because he needs it. He needs to feel my comfort and friendship and love for him. He doesn’t reciprocate at first, but after a moment, his arms close around my body like an industrial lock clicking into place.
“We’re friends because you’re the most dependable person I know. You’re always there for me, FC. You make me laugh, you cheer me up, and you pick up me when I’m down at my worst. You’re sweet. You have the greatest smile. And you have a big heart. You’re a fantastic friend and you deserve the best in the world.”
“When it sinks in, I’ll let you go,” he whispers.
“However long you need,” I whisper back as my front door opens. Justin walks in, confusion on his face when he sees us. I hold up one finger to stop him from announcing his presence. FC needs this right now more th
an he needs to be disrupted. “Best friend I’ve ever had even when we were young and stupid,” I whisper so quietly that Justin won’t hear.
FC chuckles. “You were never stupid, Idaline.” He pulls away only to cup my face. “Thank you.”
I pointedly look over by the door and FC frowns. “Hey, Justin.” FC slowly drops his hands to face our guest. “I thought you weren’t getting back from vacation until tomorrow.”
He shakes his head. “No, it’s today. Can we talk outside?”
“Sure.” I squeeze FC’s hand. “Try to relax and maybe don’t answer any more calls.” He gives me a smile and nods. I follow Justin outside. “I’m sorry. I honestly thought you were coming home tomorrow, and I planned to tell you FC’s here when we talked later tonight.” He seems upset, so I figured I might as well get all of that out now.
He studies me for a moment before a hard exhale leaves him. “I worry you two are too close,” he admits. “He looked like he was about to kiss you.”
I shake my head, not because he wasn’t, but because if he had, it would’ve been a kiss to the cheek or forehead. I feel that truth in my bones. “He’s going through a rough patch; you know that’s the only time FC comes to see me.”
“And you’re the only one who can help him through it?” he asks as skepticism heavily laces his voice. “You realize how crazy and bad that is?”
“He comes here as an escape,” I correct. I don’t understand why it’s bad that I’m FC’s best friend. Sure, I can understand why it would make Justin uncomfortable, but I’ve been upfront with him since the beginning, so he should trust me.
Justin folds his arms over his chest. “What did you do when you saw FC?”
“What?”
