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“Idaline, what’s wrong? What happened?”
“He choked me. He tried to strangle me.”
“Don’t move. I’m on my way.” He hangs up before I can say anything else.
I don’t think I could move if I wanted to. The reality of what just happened causes me to curl into a ball on the floor as a panic attack sweeps me away. How could I be so stupid? FC told me that no matter what, I shouldn’t tell him! Every time I close my eyes, I see his angry face. My neck burns as if his hands are still squeezing until I can’t breathe anymore.
Sharp pains stab my chest with every breath I struggle to take. My arms are numb. Why didn’t I take the warning signs more seriously? Why couldn’t I listen to FC? Dozens of scenarios play in my head over and over of how it happened and how it could’ve been worse. How I could be dead on my floor right now instead of having a panic attack.
Knocks sound on my door, but I don’t move. A few seconds later, FC walks through my door, rushing toward me.
He sits down, lifts me up, and pulls me against him, wrapping his arms around me. “Ssh. It’s okay now. I’ll take care of you,” he whispers. His hand glides up and down my back as he slowly rocks us side to side.
“It’s my fault,” I say, my voice cracking.
“Impossible. You didn’t ask him to lay his hands on you.”
“He… He wouldn’t leave. Wouldn’t accept it. So I told him I kissed someone else.”
“Oh, Idaline,” he whispers with a bit of a sigh. He kisses the top of my head. “Still not your fault.” He holds me while I continue to come down from my panic attack, which leaves me utterly exhausted and leaning even more into FC. “Let me see your neck.”
I lift my head from his chest to look at him, but gasp. “What happened to you?” I ask, reaching out to gingerly touch a new-looking bruise on his puffy cheek.
FC shrugs. “Got into a little scuffle. Don’t worry. They apologized and I’m okay.” He’s getting into fights with people now? At least he doesn’t smell like alcohol tonight. FC tilts my chin up and breathes hard as he sees my neck. “Hope you have a lot of makeup or a scarf that’ll make you look ridiculous this time of year. You already have a good bruise forming.” He brings my chin back down, the rage in his eyes looking a lot like Daniel’s. “Do you know where this fucker lives? I have a lot of pent-up anger I can release on him for you.”
“You’re not doing that. You didn’t have to come all this way either.” Although, I won’t lie; I’m so grateful he’s here.
“You get hurt and I come,” he states simply. “Do you feel better now?”
“Mostly.”
“Let’s get up then.” He stands first and then pulls me up. We walk over to the couch, sit, and FC holds me in his arms again.
“We go twelve years without meeting and then we see each other twice within a few days. How crazy is that?” I ask in wonder.
“How about we don’t question the good stuff in life. There’s so much shit we have to deal with, we don’t need to question the good. Let’s just take it and appreciate it.” He pulls me closer and rubs my back.
“Is Lila upset that you’ve left to come here?” I ask.
“Lila’s not your problem. Don’t worry about her.” There seems to be a detachment in his voice when he mentions her. “How does your neck feel?”
“Like someone had their hands around it.” It’s sore, almost raw feeling. “Finn Carter?” I ask.
FC chuckles. “Nope. I’m glad you’re okay. Do you want me to stay awhile?”
“Will you please?”
“Yeah, of course.”
FC grabs the remote from the end table and turns on the TV, finding something to watch. We’re quiet for a few minutes until I end it. He’s here in person again. I can’t not talk to him while he’s here.
“Where do you see yourself in five years?” This is a question we’ve asked one another a few times, the answer changing over the years.
FC sighs. “Fuck if I know, Idaline. I really don’t know.”
This answer makes me frown. FC has never not had some idea of where he’d like to be, at the very least. “You don’t know if you’ll still be with Lila? Maybe married. Still with the same job? Do you hope to move back to Raleigh?”
“Yeah, I hope to move back to Raleigh. I don’t want to be where I am now in five years. What about you?”
