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“I understand. It’s just that...” She let her words fade off, not sure if she should say what she really felt or keep dancing around the truth of the matter.
She wanted him. But she couldn’t quite get past the fact that she’d leaped quickly with Ferdy and was now paying the price.
Was her judgment off when it came to men?
Or could you question some of the things a person did because you wanted to better understand them, yet still care for them?
Because she wanted him. And she wanted to know that he wanted her in return. Not because he felt sorry for her. Or because she was a stepping-stone in his case investigating her father. Or even because she was handy.
That he wanted her. That he saw her.
As if sensing she stood on a precipice, Nikolas suggested they move inside, and she agreed, following him toward the elevator. Their ride up to his apartment was quiet and she kept wondering if there was an easier way to say what she wanted.
No, Nova amended to herself. What she needed.
Nikolas unlocked his door and gestured her through and Nova went straight to the kitchen, getting herself a glass of water.
“Nova, are you okay?” Nikolas followed her in.
“I’m fine. Good. Just thirsty. Would you like something to drink?”
“I’m good.” He stood at the counter, staring at her as she drank down the glass of water.
He waited until she was finished before he pressed. “Are you sure? Because I get the feeling there’s something you want to say to me but you’re holding back. I’m good with what I do for a living. I can handle your opinion and not break.”
“That’s not what I’m afraid to tell you.”
“What are you afraid of then?”
She set the glass on the counter and walked over to where he stood. Moving in close, she placed her hands on his chest and stared up at him. She knew she took a risk and she also knew that in a few short months her life would change yet again with the baby’s arrival. But now. Here. She just wanted to take something for herself.
Just for herself.
“I’m afraid that this will all be over soon and I won’t get a chance to tell you how I feel.”
“Nova, I—”
She stepped up on her toes and pressed her lips to his, effectively silencing his words. She didn’t want rejection right now, even though she knew he was well within his rights to give her one.
Only...
She’d caught glimpses. Since that very first day together, she’d had moments where she would swear he felt he same. Where the heat in his eyes was all for her. Just for her.
It was the hope from those small flashes that beat in her chest now.
His fingers were gentle but firm on her upper arms as he held her still, pulling back from the kiss. “Nova, I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
The hazy fog that had wrapped around her at their kiss lightened. “Advantage? But that’s not how you should feel.”
“How should I feel? You’re here. Under my protection and pregnant. What else would you call it?”
And that was when Nova heard it. The very thin thread of control that he was hanging on to. It wove through his voice, quavering low in his throat, and Nova knew exactly what to do.
“I want you. Me. Nova. The woman. Not pregnant Nova. Or on-the-run Nova. Or illegitimate-Colton-daughter Nova. Just me. The woman who wants to be with you.”
“I’d like that.” He swept the tip of his finger over her forehead, pushing away a lock of hair before tucking it behind her ear.
“Make love to me, Nikolas. Please.”
