Page 113 of Protein Shake


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“With all your heart,” Eric began, “you showed the world what you’re made of, and you didn’t yield for a fucking second. That’s something to be proud of, no matter what the judges fucking think.”

“I know I’m proud of you,” Chase interrupts. “You did what you wanted to do, and you just said ‘Fuck the bullshit,’ and went for it. I... I love that. So much.”

“You were you, Kara—stubborn, no bullshit...You couldn’t have been more you, and I’m in love with that. I’m in love with you.”

I nod a couple of times, because what can I even say at this point? I might start fucking crying if I say one word.

“Both of us are,” adds Chase.

“Okay, I get it.” I smile, yielding the argument.

“I hope you also get that we would never stop loving you no matter what you did out there.” Eric softly takes my hands into his. “Not that it needs to be said, but...”

“Just in case there’s ever any doubt,” Chase says, finishing Eric’s thought.

I nod again, another unstoppable grin taking over.

“Noted,” I state, feeling myself starting to glow. “I feel the same.”

I tingle when Eric leans close, then closer, before smoothly planting a kiss on my lips. He takes his sweet—and I do mean sweet—fucking time with it and making sure that I feel his warmth.

My eyes flit over to Chase, who then does his best to best Eric’s kiss with a lustful, electrifying snog that transports me away from this cold, crowded hallway to someplace warm and wonderful for a few seconds.

I snap out of it when a garbled announcement blasts through the speakers out by the stage. I’m trying to listen to the announcer in vain when I see several other contestants scurrying over towards the wings of the stage to listen closely.

I leave Chase and Eric for a minute to join my fellow contestants, but the jumbled announcement ends before I can join the crowd.

I don’t know if anyone could have heard that announcement, but I might as well ask someone.

I look to my right, and the closest person to me is Miss Sexy Australia. She’s looking right back at me, too.

Fuck it, I feel like we’re supposed to be enemies because she hates me or something, but I couldn’t care less right now.

“Did you get any of that?” I ask Miss Sexy Australia’s glowering face.

“Uh, did you get any of that?” she repeats mockingly.

“Look, I just want to know…”

“Look, you, Miss Sexy Naked Preachy USA, I don’t know how you managed to land not just one, but two blokes who are hotter than snags on the barbie. That is impressive, I reckon.”

“Okay, thanks. All I wanted to know is…”

“I mean, with a cunt that’s yeastier than a Vegemite sandwich, I reckon that’s a real accomplishment.”

I give up.

“Good luck to you, too.”

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the announcer is much clearer this time, “the judges have conferred and the results are in.”

The contestants around me start buzzing like excited bumblebees, and Miss Sexy Australia is glowering nervously at the stage.

“So, without further ado, it’s my honor to announce the second runner up for Miss Sexy Universe…”

The buzz is growing to hushed yet excited gasps and murmurs.

“Miss Sexy Japan!”

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