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Anyways, so I was like thinking that I’m going back home in a few days and I’ll probably be back in a few weeks but like it might be good time to meet some new people ya know? Maybe increase the size of the harem if WineBar and I can’t come to an agreement.
So, I mean, I know I’m high maintenance. Cheryl and Lana have like both told me multiple times. But I decide, I’m gonna sex it up completely.
So what’s a big city girl with a big head and what she likes to think big boobs do?
She dolls herself up real good. I’m talking La Perla lace. Pearls. Bust out the Sephora. Take out the black Dolce dress that hugs me just right and makes my ass look sooo good. Jimmy Choo’s fix the feet and Kim Kardashian makes me smell good and I’m out the door. Headed to the nicest bar in town which happens to be...The Elephant Bar.
I pull up to the valet in my white Mercedes E300 (leased not bought) and my heels click as I walk to the bar.
I order a cosmo. Look at my phone. Wait for the guys to arrive.
After all. I’m Alexis Angel. I write romance that makes it into the Top 100. I personify sex. I’m from San Francisco.
This small town doesn’t stand a chance.
Does it?
Strikeout
Right so I realize from your comments that I didn’t really specify what happened after I got all dolled up and went out into the small town Elephant Bar.
Let me be absolutely clear.
Nothing.
Like big fat zero. Nada. Zilch.
Like first off, the bartender was a chica. So thats like strike one. You can’t even fall back on the handsome bartender when she’s got the same chromosomes as you. But then, the bar was filled, and not even with couples, but with families.
Apparently there weren’t too many tables left and so they were seating children in the bar area which I totally didn’t know was even a thing.
Third, there just weren’t any men.
You know where we talk about its raining men and stuff?
Well, this was a drought. Sure, it was like the men were all around. But they were with wives and kids. I mean, I did catch a few people eyeing me - not gonna lie. But either they were men that averted their eyes. OR they were women looking at me with like an ugh, what the fuck is she doing here look.
Like, sorry, I didn’t realize the Elephant Bar had turned into Chuck-E-Cheese.
Oh, hey, I’m heading back to SF today. Dinner with WineBar is tomorrow night!
Anyways, just something to write about since I’m getting ready to drive. I have audiobook on (my Naughty Angel Brittney Ketchum told me to listen to smutty books in the car as I drive and IT IS SOOOO FUCKING HOT!) Like where they have sex and you hit a speed bump...ooh la la
Home!
I am so glad to be home!!
Being back in SF right now feels so good. My mom’s okay - they think it’s the beta blockers that was causing her heart rate to slow down so she’s been off beta blockers now since I got home and her heart rate is above 60 bpm and her blood pressure is sitting at around 132 over 78 so it’s okay.
I read Michelle’s book on the train and it was hot. Kinda makes you forget your on Amtrak bc you get caught up in the story.
Home, sweet home! Where I don’t have to feel weird trying to quietly masturbate in the bedroom I grew up in as a lil girl. I don’t care how quiet a bullet or vibe is, it isn’t quiet enough to use in your parents’ house lol and I’m glad to be back in my city where my La Perla’s not wasted and the bars aren’t crawling with kids.
You know what tonight is right? Dinner with WineBar.
Yeah babe. Tonight's the night.
I’m not letting myself think about that right now though because even though I’m anxious to be home, I’m more excited to do go to Forever 21 and see what’s new and maybe go to the Ferry Terminal farmers market and grab a chicken sandwich. Maybe get hair and nails done. Oooh, and a massage!
