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When he’s totally done, I stand up and head for the other room, grabbing my dress and awkwardly heading for my phone. I check the time and realize that we’ve spent hours together. I have the urge to leave…and it is because I wish I felt like I could stay. But I can’t let the intense emotions that our scene brought up in me take over.
3
Caroline
THAT SAME NIGHT
My face heats intensely and my head feels a little dizzy. I want to cover myself. My legs are spread and I'm bared to him and I'm intensely nervous. I realize that I'm trembling. My fingers are digging into my thighs and shaking to cover myself. But I can't. That's not what Nick told me to do.
"Breathe for me, baby girl. Stay with me. Don’t go anywhere else in your head.” Nick stands and it is all I can do not to follow him with my eyes. I want to see him. My mind is racing and my cheeks are flushing, I can feel it. I need to know. The urge to control this, organize it, like I do everything else in my life is crushing me. I want to be able to know what comes next and plan for it. I want to do the right thing. I have never felt so vulnerable before. As exhilarating as that is, it is also terrifying. In fact, that makes it more exciting.
But that's it. Right now my obedience is required, and I've not been told to do anything but to maintain this position. So I will.
My pussy is so wet that I feel my arousal dripping down my ass from my position on my knees.
"You're so responsive already, and I can’t wait to taste every inch of that obedience.” I can almost feel his strong voice vibrating through my body. I'm trembling more than ever and trying hard not to move my hands to cover myself, or touch myself. I’ve been a submissive before. I’m well-behaved and obedient but…I become someone else with him. So soon. I just met him, but there’s something in his voice, in the way he acts, that has me completely enamored with him.
His hands are on my breasts, and she slaps them, makes them sting, pinches my nipples, teases me endlessly. I reply as I should — with gratitude — for every sensation he offers me. Sometimes, it is gentle. Sometimes, it is painful enough to make my eyes water. But that’s all enough because I need every touch that he offers. I moan, sucking in my lower lip, when his hand trials down to my pussy. He spanks me right on the clit, and I cry out before I yelp a thank you.
Nick’s hand takes mine and he leads me back to another room of his apartment. This one has a familiar face in BDSM, but I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited to see the large wooden ‘X.’ The St. Andrew’s cross…I inhale sharply in excitement when he starts to secure me to it. I know now that the real pain is coming…and that means the real pleasure. I won’t be able to contain myself an obey perfectly with the way he makes me feel. It scares me.
Not the pain. I love the pain. The pain is comfort. But the last person that I trusted to touch my body, to have any chance at my heart? They crushed me. I don’t want to let anyone in. Or I didn’t. But from the moment I met Nick, this has been so much more than a simple hookup on a fetish dating app. No. He makes me want more.
But in that wanting, that's where my heart starts to ache and I'm not sure if I can handle this. There's an intensity with Nick that I'm afraid of. I knew that finding one person that understood everything about me I wanted someone to know would be thrilling.
It is the part where he seems to reach past the parts that I want someone to know and into the parts that I attempt to hide from even myself.
Nick walks behind the cross and I am acutely aware of how bare my skin is before him.
I feel Nick’s fingers trace over my ass gently, giving me goosebumps. My blood rushes as I wait for the spanking. The feeling when he spanks me is like nothing else I've ever felt in my life, it makes my skin light up and my breathing still and then go ragged all at once from one second to the next.
He lifts is fingers and for a moment I am left squirming in anticipation. I can just barely squirm as I’m secured, but for some reason, I do. His hand tightens against the back of my neck.
“Don't move.” I can’t really, but I know what he means. I need to be still.
I breathe in and out shakily, holding my body as still as possible. Every second that I wait for the slap heightens my arousal. After what seems like an eternity, his hand comes down on my ass sharply, the sound ringing through the air. I yelp softly and then take in a breath.
“Thank you, sir,”
He slaps my ass again and I thank him once more, my skin starting to sting.
“Louder,” he commands as his hand comes down twice more. I raise my voice as I thank him, my words shaking.
“Louder!”
He spanks me rhythmically, making sure that he strikes the same patch of skin each time, with more weight, with more pain, and now when I thank him my voice is a shout. Chills run over my body and tears rim my eyes, stinging but making me more in the moment and less in the fear in my mind. My ass throbs every time his hand makes contact. He pauses for a moment, running his hand over my sensitive skin, making me moan with need at the raw, sensual feel of his hands over my aching flesh. I am so turned on by the feeling of my ass throbbing under his fingers that I feel like I’m going to come from the sensation alone.
“Please, oh god, I need to come!” I beg. I know I wasn’t supposed to beg or talk out of turn, but my body is on fire.
“Come for me, Caroline,” Nick growls and I don’t need any more permission and my lust ricochets out of my body like all the pressure built up inside of it couldn’t be contained any longer. I feel his on my chest, listening to my breathing, and the closeness makes me ache for him so acutely that it almost feels like part of my soul is torn in that moment, forever to stay with him.
When he begins to spank me again, I’m coming so hard that my mind feels shattered. By the time he releases the back of my neck, I am gasping for air.
He kisses my forehead tenderly. “You’re so perfect for me, Caroline, that even your disobedience is beautiful.” Then he spanks my ass so hard that I cry out, my thank you barely leaving my lips in a raspy voice.
Nick can be tender, and so filthy, he’s shown me. It makes me crave him in a way, that, as the high of the pain starts to come down, I realize that I fear.
Something has shifted in Nick, too. I know he feels it.
