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“Don’t you love him?”
Did she? She thought she did. But was she ready to accept that Alex could be gone for months at a time, just like Josh?
Their problem wasn’t his, but hers. She was afraid to love him. Afraid to trust herself. Wasn’t it easier to leave things as they were and not risk the heartache? Either way, those weren’t topics for her ten-year-old daughter. “It’s not that simple, honey. Things are complicated in a grown-up way that you’ll understand when you’re older.”
“But Grandma always says if you love each other, you can figure out the hard stuff together.”
Leave it to a ten-year-old to boil her issues down to something that easy. Was Lizzie right? Was Cameron letting her fears complicate what should be an uncomplicated situation—two people falling in love? Every couple went through growing pains. But this felt as bad as the “you’re thirteen years old and you grow three inches overnight and every bone in your body ached” kind of growing pains.
The doorbell rang before she had time to consider that possibility.
Cameron hopped up, Lizzie hot on her heels.
Alex and Mariana were standing on the porch, Alex in the same combat fatigues he’d worn the day she met him. He looked good. Too good. Especially holding Mariana’s pink, floral duffel bag like a man unafraid of people’s silly stereotypes. Beside him, Mariana’s splotched face beamed in a surprisingly upbeat way for a sick little girl.
“See you later, Daddy.” Mariana hurried into the house, and the girls headed into Lizzie’s room before Cameron could say anything.
She couldn’t just leave him standing on the porch, but she wasn’t ready to talk to him. Not yet. Not until she got her head screwed on straight. “Come on in.”
He hesitated for a minute but followed her in.
She stopped in front of the couch. She wasn’t ready for a conversation about them as a couple, but they needed to discuss the kids. If nothing else, she needed to reassure him his daughter would be all right. “How’s Mariana doing?”
“As you can tell, she seems fine right now. I took her temperature before we left and it was slightly elevated, and her cheeks are flushed and she’s got the splotches. The clinic said there wasn’t much to do if she had chicken pox but to wait it out. I tucked her insurance cards in her bag along with her doctor’s phone number and a medical release if you need to take her in. I also included my parents’ number in Georgia and Mrs. Rodriguez’s, too.”
“She’ll be fine, Alex. You don’t need to worry.” If only she could ease that tick in his jaw. And if she covered his hands with hers, maybe he would relax his fingers that had curled into fists.
But she given up that right when she’d told him to leave last night.
He scrubbed his free hand over his jaw. He hadn’t shaved today and there was a slight stubble. Dang, he looked even better than normal.
As sensing her thoughts, he stepped toward her. “You look good.”
Sure, since her oversized T-shirt and yoga pants were runway wear. The benefit of working from home—she didn’t have to dress up if she didn’t want to.
She opened her mouth to object, but he held up his hand.
“No, I need to say this. I missed you last night. I know it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours but because of our argument, it felt like forever. I’m sorry. You said you don’t want to be together anymore, but I can’t help how I feel.”
She didn’t know how to respond. Not when she realized that she’d been an idiot. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be with him. She was afraid. Afraid to risk her heart again. “This isn’t a good time for this conversation. You need to focus on your job and take comfort that Mariana is safe with me until you come back.”
“I’ll only be gone for eleven days.”
She nodded. “I know that here.” She pointed at her head. “But not here.” She rested her hand over her heart as she bit back tears.
The alarm on Alex’s phone chimed. “Daggone it. I have to leave or I’ll miss my flight. I wish I could stay and talk this through.”
“You just be safe.”
He reached out a hand but stopped short. It was probably for the best. If he hugged her right now, she would break down… and beg him to take her back.
Chapter Eleven
Giggles traveled down the hall from the kitchen. It was Saturday. Why weren’t those two rascals asleep like most tweeners? All she wanted was to pull the covers over her head for a few more hours. She hadn’t gotten any sleep last night. Between Alex and Mariana, worry had turned to insomnia. Each time she went into Lizzie’s room to check on Mariana, her temperature had been spot-on ninety-eight-point-six, and her forehead felt cool to the touch. There was no sign of a headache or a sore throat. None of the typical symptoms of chicken pox. She and Lizzie had both slept soundly.
Not now, though. They were laughing. Clearly Mariana was feeling better.
Cameron plodded down the hall toward the kitchen. She’d gulp down a cup of coffee before she faced whatever the girls were up to. A big cup. With twice the caffeine.
