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But when? Not when we arrived. The house was quiet. They were asleep.
Maybe this morning when he left?
“Um, I don’t really have a boyfriend,” I admit.
“That’s not what he said.” Her tone is knowing and when I continue to stare at her helplessly, she throws her hands up. “Girl, you’ve been keeping secrets! That boy is gorgeous.”
“Oh. Uh, yeah.”
“Having middle of the night hookups with a complete hottie.” Alaina shakes her head. “I must’ve seen him around campus before. He’s really familiar. And really hot, too. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“What do you mean, had it in me?” Now I’m vaguely offended.
“That you could snatch up a guy like that. Whew.” She fans herself. “I about died when I saw him sneaking out of the house this morning.”
And there’s my confirmation. “What time was that at exactly?”
“Little after five. I like to get up early and go running, remember.” Alaina is a running freak. She owns so many pairs of running shoes, it’s borderline obsessive. She showed us her collection when she first moved in, and even admitted she didn’t bring half of it.
What she did bring seemed pretty excessive.
“He was about to leave when he glanced over at me standing in the kitchen, eating a banana. I about swallowed my tongue when I saw him.” She’s staring at me in amazement. “Please tell me you two hooked up.”
What I really want to tell her is that what Jackson and I did is none of her business, but I don’t have it in me to be that rude. I just smile and nod, trying to look mysterious, not saying a word, but she won’t let me get away with it.
“Come on,” she says. “You have to tell me.”
I don’t have to tell her anything. “He’s an old friend,” I finally say. “We’ve known each other since high school. He’s a year older though.”
“He said he was your boyfriend,” Alaina says.
I frown. “Really?” I find that hard to believe.
She nods. “Well, I asked him if he was your boyfriend, and he said yes. Maybe you two need to have a little talk. Define what you guys are doing.”
Alaina grins. I scowl. I don’t understand where she’s going with this. Or why she cares so much. Maybe she just likes to gossip. Or maybe she’s digging for info on Jackson because she’s interested in him too.
I look at her—as in, I really take note of her features. Long brown hair. Pretty face—not outrageously gorgeous or anything, but she’s really cute. Slender figure. Tall. Extremely fit. Eats well, a vegetarian who’s considering going full vegan. She’s probably Jackson’s type.
But does he even have a type? To me, he seems to appreciate all females, which is so freaking frustrating.
I’m selfish. I want him to only appreciate me.
“Like I said, we’re just friends,” I tell her, deciding to remain honest. “Maybe there’s potential for more, maybe not. We’ll see.”
“I love your attitude, Ellie. I wish I could
be more like you. When I meet a guy I like, I go all in—and somehow, I always mess it up.” Her compliment makes me feel bad for judging her earlier and looking at her as competition. “I wish I was more casual with my feelings like you. I’d give anything to be able to keep an open mind and not fall so hard for someone that I can’t even see straight.”
I mull over what Alaina said to me as I get ready for work. She thinks I’m super casual over this situation with Jackson, when that’s the furthest thing from the truth. I’m not casual at all. I am in love with stupid Jackson Rivers and I have been for over a year. I’ve let him keep stringing me along like the complete dumb girl I am.
And now when he gives me a crumb—okay, it was more than a crumb—of attention, I’ve got stars in my eyes all over again and orgasms on the brain. As in, when can he give me another one?
What if he never gives me another one? He could totally freak out. That’s his way. He’s not one to stick with a girl for very long. He can’t commit. And according to Caleb, I have commitment written all over my body like invisible tattoos.
He told me that once last year at a party when he was drunk and annoyed with women in general. I adore Caleb most of time, and at one point in my life had a major crush on him, but he can say some really awful things.
I suppose it’s part of his charm.
