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Her defiance sagged a bit and her gaze darted around the car nervously before meeting his again with a bit of renewed anger. “You had sex with me, and I made it easy for you because I was pretending to be something I wasn’t because I believed that would somehow protect me from getting hurt.”
“You weren’t easy, Madison. Nothing about you is easy.” If only this conversation was easy. If only she wasn’t looking at him as if he were Jack the Ripper. If only he’d stuck to his original plan and taken things slowly. If only he hadn’t ruined things with Madison. If only… “I’m sorry I hurt you. That wasn’t my intention. Let me make it up to you, Madison.”
“Make it up to me?” She laughed again. “Let’s be real, Levi. We both know how you affect me. If you pushed, you could have me right now and we both know it. Yes, I’d hate myself afterwards for giving in when I know you don’t care about me, but—”
Raking his fingers through his hair for the zillionth time, he interrupted her. “I do care about you, Madison.”
“Yes, I figured that out for myself when you ‘made love’ to me then abandoned me without as much as a hug or word of reassurance when all I wanted to do was cry. You never even asked how I felt. I’ve never felt so used, so cheap.”
Yes, he had done that. He hadn’t shown much finesse. But he was having to wing it because nothing in his repertoire had prepared him for Madison.
“I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was upset that I’d forgotten protection.”
“I just bet you were,” she sneered. “I’m probably the last woman you’d want to make pregnant.”
“That isn’t true.” Not that he wanted to make any woman pregnant. Just that, well, he didn’t want Madison pregnant, but if she were, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
Actually, he couldn’t imagine anyone he’d rather have made pregnant. If they’d made a baby, they’d deal with the repercussions together.
Together. He liked the sound of that.
Now he just had to convince Madison.
CHAPTER TWELVE
MADISON stared at the man sitting next to her. He’d raked his fingers through his hair so many times that his usually kempt style looked a little off.
Of course, unkempt looked delicious on Levi.
Anything and everything looked delicious on Levi because the man was just scrumptious no matter how one accessorized him.
Which was totally unfair.
How was she supposed to keep him at arm’s length, to protect her heart when he was so…so…Levi?
“Madison, this is difficult for me,” Scrumptious said.
What was wrong with her? Why was she thinking how scrumptious he was? She was upset with him. Angry. Hurt. Frustrated. Disappointed. Confused. He’d made love to her and backed away so fast her head had spun. They’d kept their distance for four weeks. Four weeks of seeing each other, yet not seeing each other. That wasn’t scrumptious. More like scoundrelous.
But she loved this scoundrel.
With all her heart.
Which scared her. Which made her feel backed into a corner she needed to fight her way out of.
How dared he whine about how difficult this was for him when she was the one who’d exposed her heart even when she’d known better? She had known better, and yet did one ever really have control over who their heart loved? If so, wouldn’t the whole world choose logical matches instead of such improbable ones?
“You think this is easy for me? Possibly being pregnant by a man who couldn’t get away from me fast enough afterwards?” His hasty retreat had cut to the core. He’d cut her out of his life so easily. He could hurt her more, could hurt her so deeply she might never recover.
“It’s not like that.”
“It’s exactly like that, but no worries, it’s not as if I’m hoping I’m pregnant, Levi.” She didn’t. Not really. Sure, there was this tiny part of her that wanted a part of Levi for ever, but not like this. She wanted a part of him because he’d given of himself to her, because he wanted her to grow round with his baby, would be there by her side each step of the way, would ho
ld her hand as they watched their child grow. Not because she’d accidentally fallen pregnant.
His jaw flexed. “You’re taking everything I say wrong, overreacting.”
Madison laughed at the irony of his comment. She thought she was doing a pretty good job of staying calm, considering the events of the past month.
