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“You guys, you can’t be mad with me about this.” He moved aside for Sa
rina and leaned against a wall, folding his arms defensively, because this was making him uncomfortable and he didn’t deserve to feel anything for himself in this. It should all be about Owen.
“I can’t see why not?” Sarina came into the room and took the chair beside Owen’s bed after putting her palm against his cheek.
“Hah, how about for all the reasons you shoved me out. It’s not like I’ve changed.”
“Looks different to me,” said Owen, “but then, you know, drugs.”
Sarina said. “I’m stone-cold straight and he looks almost human to me.”
Reid sighed nosily. “Yuck it up, you two. I’m not the answer to your problems. I was your problem. You got rid of me. We had this discussion, somewhat publicly if I remember. And Dev is still not cool with me.”
“He’ll come around,” Sarina said softly.
The two of them looked at him as if he had the answer. His giraffe heart was thumping along at a cracking pace.
“I can’t help you.”
“Can’t or won’t?” said Owen.
It was love and hate all over again. “Can’t. Won’t, what’s the difference? I’m trying to do the right thing here.”
“There’s a difference,” said Sarina.
Of course there freaking was. Zarley would know exactly. But he couldn’t land on it. If his giraffe heart stroked out, would they know how to treat him here or need to call in a goddam vet?
“I’ve accepted I lost Plus. That it was my own fault. People don’t change easily and I’m useless because I keep making the same mistakes. I get so focused I lose sight of the bigger picture. The only difference between the night of the anniversary and now is that I know it. You won’t want me back and I can’t see how I can help you.”
He expected blank looks, or if this was some kind of weird-ass test, cheering. They were both grinning at him like he’d personally proven Einstein’s theory about gravitational waves.
“What?”
Owen said, “He’ll do.”
“Peace out. Whatever it is you’re thinking, I’m not your man. Owen, I’ll sit on your family for you but you don’t want me back inside Plus. Dev will come up with a way to get you out of the Ziggy hole. You can get—”
“Don’t make me come over there and beat you,” Owen said.
Reid thumped his head back on the wall behind him twice. “Not funny.”
“You, we want you back and you don’t have a clue why and that’s the best part,” said Sarina. “Also, we need you back. You’re probably the only one who understands how Ziggy is supposed to work. Want. Need, it’s a pretty compelling argument, don’t you think?”
He shook his head. That latter part made sense, but the rest of what she said, horror story from central casting and he didn’t want to be the first to die. Again.
“You didn’t need to change. You needed to wise up. You needed to grow some emotional intelligence and get a clue about how you impacted people. You needed to understand you can lift the spirits of a whole room or make everyone in it want to slash their wrists,” she said.
“Occasionally at precisely the same time. I don’t get what you’re saying.”
“Shut up and listen.”
He threw his hands up. “See.”
She laughed. “The cult of Reid McGrath is alive and well. That thing you wrote, inadvisable in two hundred million different ways, but it worked. If you’d looked at your messages you’d know how the press treated it as if you were some New Age guru who’d seen the light.”
Reid winced. Owen said, “I made that face too, every time I saw the media roundup.”
“You’re way more likeable when you admit to flaws,” said Sarina.
