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I walk into the little outbuilding that I’ve turned into an apartment. I’ve been living here for a while, since I tore the house down and decided to rebuild. But it’s taken so long that this has come to seem like home now. It’s small, but I don’t mind it.
In the kitchen I toss back a full glass of water before trudging down the hall and undressing. I was tired when I left the bar, and now I feel restless and anxious. I don’t want to close my eyes. And so I flip my thoughts to Tia and tomorrow. But that’s something that’s full of anxiety too. So I throw my mind back. Back to that day.
It was a cool summer evening, and I already decided that I was sneaking out of my house. I successfully avoided my father and climbed out the window before he could ask me what I was doing and where I was going and decide that my answers weren’t good enough for him. I took a blanket with me, and in my backpack I had bottle of whisky I slipped from the cabinet full of them. I rolled my bike to the end of the lane and took off. And stupidly, hopefully, I stopped by the convenience store on the edge of town and bought condoms. I didn’t want to assume, but I also didn’t want to be unprepared in case anything happened.
On the outside, the night wasn’t anything special. But when I entered the park and saw Tia waiting for me there on one of the benches, looking up at the rising moon, I thought that I was going to explode. She was everything. I’d never felt anything like that before, this all-consuming obsession. And more than that, a deep feeling of rightness and belonging. She was it. There’d never be anyone else that made me feel this way. Never.
“Hi,” she breathed as I dismounted, and I didn’t say anything back as I pulled her off the bench and kissed her. I liked the way her body molded against mine, so different and soft. I like the way her lips tasted like cherries, and I liked that little sound that she made when I took her by surprise. I liked how my body reacted to hers, instantly hard with need, like a confirmation of what my heart and soul already felt, even though we hadn’t gone there yet. Neither of us had gone there with anyone yet.
“Hi,” I finally said when I had to pull back for a breath.
Her soft giggle was enough to undo me. “Come on.” She pulled me along and I rolled my bike with her deeper into the park, where the shadows were longer and there would be less of a chance of being seen. We weren’t trying hard to keep a secret, but we both preferred the privacy. And I knew that if my father ever found out that I’d been sneaking out of his house to meet a girl that there would be hell to pay. Not that I was going to tell Tia that. She already worried about me, and I wasn’t going to add to that.
When we reached our destination—a clearing in the middle of some pine trees, open to the sky—I pulled the blanket from my backpack and spread it on the ground, and then I pulled out the whiskey. “Just in case,” I said. “No pressure.”
Tia raised an eyebrow. “Are you trying to get me drunk, Wallace?”
I swallowed. “No, that’s not what I meant—”
“I’m kidding,” she said with a smile and a laugh. “I’ll have a little bit. It’ll keep me warm.”
“I can do that too,” I said as we sat down and she tucked herself between my legs. The moon and stars were bright, and it honestly didn’t feel like we were missing anything in the dark. I wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her close. She smelled like flowers. I was hard as a rock, and there was nothing I wanted more than to venture into new territory with her. But I wasn’t going to rush it. If she wanted to, we would. If she didn’t, then I’d be happy anyway, right there. Whenever I was with her, was the most peace that I’d ever felt in my life, and I didn’t want it to end. No matter what.
“I missed you,” she said, sighing and relaxing into me.
We’d seen each other at school earlier that day. So the fact that she’d missed me in that little time gave me a warm feeling in my chest. “I missed you, too.”
More than ever. My dad was already drunk by the time I got home—five minutes late. And telling him that there’d been a little extra traffic on the way home from school hadn’t stopped his anger. I’d barely escaped a beating. Not that that wouldn’t be normal. Only a few months left till graduation, and I wouldn’t have to be in that house anymore. I’d be at bootcamp.
