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He stops walking and takes another shaky breath. “It was only last week that I realized that was the real reason for my fear. And I was afraid. And I haven’t told you just how close I came to dying Tia. A few minutes and a stroke of luck made the difference between me standing here and me fulfilling that stupid prophecy I made about me not coming back and leaving you alone.
“It kills me to know how badly I fucked up. I know I did.” He clears his throat. “I haven’ really been the same since I came back. Not until you. You made me remember what it was like to feel…happy. And hopeful. So I’m finally getting some help. I’m a stubborn son of a bitch so I really didn’t want to. But it is helping.” He laughs, almost to himself. “Everyone assumed when I came back and First shot was doing so well that I’d just be happy. That everything was fine and that it would be easy. But it wasn’t. That money will never make me happy. It’s not important to me.”
My chest aches for him, and I reach out, wrapping my arms around him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“I didn’t want you to. Just like I didn’t want you to know about my dad. I don’t like for you to see me weak. But it’s not an excuse to hide things.”
“No,” I say. “It’s not. But I’m glad you’re getting help.”
Wallace sighs and leans against a railing overlooking the river. “Me too, believe it or not.”
“Is that the only thing that you wanted to tell me?”
He looks down and cringes. “No. Unfortunately not. But promise me you’ll hear me all the way out on this one. It’s not going to make me look good at first, but wait until the end.”
“Okay…” I draw out the word. It puts me on edge, that caveat. No one ever likes to start a story with the idea that they’re going to hate it. That’s really never fun.
“When I was seventeen, before you and I were serious, Glenn and Frankie and I took a pledge. You remember them?”
I raise an eyebrow. “I know Glenn and Frankie, Wallace. I’ve been in this town my whole life. And besides, everyone knows the rich and famous owners of First Shot.”
“Right.” He grins sheepishly. “Sorry. Well, we took this pledge in high school—mind you because we were horny teenagers and the only thing that we would think about was sex—that if we weren’t married before our thirtieth birthday that we would spend the first month of our birthday year hooking up with thirty women. Thirty one-night stands. And we called it Dirty Thirty.”
He pauses, like he’s waiting for my reaction to it, and I have to force down my revulsion, but it doesn’t work. “Are you fucking kidding me, Wallace? Your birthday is in like a month. Are you telling me that you were trying to screw me and get back together with me just so you could take a break and bang thirty women with my permission? That’s disgusting. It’s childish and pathetic. If that’s what you thought you could do then you’re only pretending to be a man you—”
I’m cut off by his lips touching mine. I’m so surprised that it does actually stop me in my tracks.
“You promised that you’d listen.”
“Fine,” I say, anger still boiling in my veins. “But I reserve the right to yell afterwards.”
He smiles at me. “Feel free. But I’m not sure you’ll want to.”
“Fat chance of that,” I say under my breath as he continues.
“I’ve never wanted that, not really. When I was in high school and sex was this huge mystery, having sex with thirty different women in thirty days seemed like the paragon of heaven. So much sex with so many different people! But as an adult, that’s pretty revolting. Frankie thought so too. Glenn, not so much.”
And then he tells me the story of what happened with Glenn and Frankie, and how Frankie was even more adamant about not wanting to do the pledge than Wallace. Glenn was threatening to sue him for breach of contract if he didn’t go through, but he won the love of his life Annabelle back.
“I still think that’s pathetic,” I say. “And you’re not pulling that on me.”
Wallace grabs my hands. “Were you listening to what I said about Frankie? Was he pathetic? He was so desperate to get out of this stupid pledge that he fought tooth and nail against it. And am I pathetic, letting you tear me apart because of it? Tia, I don’t want to go out and drink and fuck lots of random women. I don’t want anything to do with the pledge. I want you. I’ve been doing everything I can to show you that. Granted, I might not have been doing a very good job of it, but I’m trying.
