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I let out a frustrated sigh and closed my eyes. “And even if I would consider doing all of that, what about you, Spencer? You’ve just breezed back into town and back into my life and I don’t know when you’re going to breeze out again. Especially after what happened last time. How do I know you’re—”
“Rylee, listen,” he interrupted and reached over to clasp my hands in his. “I have no plans to breeze out of your life or out of Halston. I want to be in this for the long haul because I care about you. I’ve even been considering buying a ranch somewhere around here.”
My eyes darted up to his in surprise. I’d never even considered that Spencer might actually move here. The thought of having to see him day-in and day-out without being able to be with him made my heart ache, but still, I had to think about what was best for my family—for Mom and for Jayden.
“That’s all the more reason for us to nip this in the bud,” I argued, but my words sounded unconvincing even to my own ears. “If you don’t let this go, you’ll end up the town pariah. Everyone will talk about how you slept with both Bratton women and it’s such a small town, Spencer. No one will ever forget.”
I pressed my fingers against my temple and began to rub. I was starting to give myself a headache with all these mental gymnastics and the constant arguing with Spencer. “The truth of the matter is that, no matter what you feel for me, it’s best to give up on it now. There’s no scenario I can think of where this ends well for either of us.”
That wasn’t entirely truthful. My head was full of dreams where Spencer would find out about Jayden and be happy. I hoped that he might love the idea of having a son and of us being a family together. I wanted that to be true more than anything I’d ever wanted in my entire life, but I knew it was foolish. There’s no way Spencer wouldn’t be mad. Even if he was happy about Jayden existing, he’d be angry with me for missing out on four years of his child’s life. There was no way that this was going to end well with Spencer and my mind couldn’t stop jumping to the worst-case scenario—the one where Jayden was left heart-broken and rejected by his own father.
“You underestimate my ability to handle idle gossip, Rylee,” Spencer said, interrupting my anxious thoughts. “I don’t give two craps about what some soccer moms might say about us. I can face some ridicule if it means that I get what I want—what I’ve wanted for so long now. Rylee, all I want is you.”
The confession stunned me. I honestly assumed he was just trying to get into my pants again, but why would he keep chasing me like this if all he wanted was a quick fuck? Surely, there were easier ways to satisfy that desire. The hopeless romantic in me desperately wanted to believe him. It wanted me to throw myself at him and let us share another wild, passionate kiss again, but I just couldn’t. I still didn’t understand.
“Why?” I asked, my head reeling with all the thoughts I couldn’t say out loud. “I don’t understand why you want to be with me so badly? What’s so special about me? I’m a college drop out who works in a grocery store part-time. You’re successful, attractive, and kind, you could get any woman you want. What makes me so special?”
Spencer turned then and moved closer until we were impossibly close. “You’re wrong,” he told me fiercely. “You are so very special. You’re clever, funny, and resourceful. Besides that, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. Rylee, there can’t be anyone else for me but you.”
The way he was looking at me was exactly the same as that fateful day when we’d made love. He looked so intense and honest in that moment that I felt my resolve waver. It didn’t help that he’d picked such a romantic and idyllic setting to have this conversation in. When he reached out with one hand and cupped my cheek, I didn’t push him away. I held his gaze and even though I knew it was wrong, I silently hoped that somehow, someway, he was right. I wanted us to find a way to be together, I was just afraid.
“That night when you gave me your virginity was the very best night of my life. I’ve never experienced such an erotic and sensual encounter ever before or since, Rylee. I have to admit, I’ve been dying to experience it again,” he whispered seductively.
I felt my heart pound against my chest and my face warmed. I felt exactly the same way. Spencer didn’t know, but I’d never slept with anyone else since. He was still my first, my only. So, when he leaned in, I didn’t pull away. Instead, I took in a shaky breath and tried desperately to steady myself.
