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Logan had gone to the cemetery to visit Gran’s grave with me, something that was deeply personal and had me twisted up in knots. He’d crouched down in front of her gravestone and asked for a minute alone. When I came back over, I’d heard him whisper, “I promise I’ll take care of her. You have nothing to worry about,”. I never brought it up to him, though. I think he would have been embarrassed.
As for Conlon, he’d been sentenced to twenty years in prison without the possibility of parole and he’d never hurt anyone ever again. He was gone for good and everyone could move on. Of course, it took some time and I’d be lying if I said what happened didn’t impact me. The effects weren’t all negative though, and I’d learned how to love fiercely and with my whole heart. Gran said I always had that damn gift of compassion and I still guarded it closely.
As for Nicole? Well, after Conlon was sentenced, Logan and I got her out of Boston for good this t
ime. Hopefully. It seemed that my boyfriend had friends all over the place and Nicole was living it up down in Texas, living in a battered woman’s shelter. We didn’t talk often, but when we did she sounded happier with each call. She even told me she was trying to get her GED, something she’d wanted for a long time, but that Greg never allowed her to do it.
“But it’s not up to him anymore,” she’d said during our last call. Her voice was firm, determined. “This is my life. It belongs to me.”
“Damn right.” I’d agreed with a smile, feeling a sense of pride that she’d managed to escape, that she didn’t up as another tragic headline.
I walked into Logan’s living room with Sadie, smelling a freshly brewed pot of coffee as Mac’s big body slammed into my legs. He was massive now, even bigger than Sadie, though she definitely let him know she was still the boss, and he still thought he was a lap dog at a whopping eighty five pounds.
“Morning,” I smiled as my boyfriend sat at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. I kissed his cheek and he turned his head, catching my lips with his, smiling.
“Morning to you, too.”
“How’d you sleep?” I asked as I poured myself a cup.
“Great.” he responded around a mouthful of bagel. “This insanely hot woman came over last night and let me blow my load in her mouth. It knocked me out. What sucked though,” he paused, wrapping an arm around my waist and tugging me down onto his lap. “Is that when I woke up this morning, she was gone.”
I took a sip of coffee and smiled at him over my mug. “It was a beautiful morning, so I took Sadie for a walk. We decided to let you lazy boys sleep in.”
Mac ambled over looking for stray food and sneakily stole the rest of Logan’s bagel out of his hand. I laughed and Logan frowned, looking from his hand to Mac and back again.
“I’m getting rid of him.”
I gasped in mock offense, scratching Mac behind the ears. “You will do no such thing to my son.”
Logan’s shoulder cracked and I rubbed the space where his neck met his shoulder, sighing softly. He was still stubborn about taking his meds, but I was able to wear him down from time to time. I suppose the same could be said about me because he’d been able to convince me to try smoking a little weed for the first time in my life and all I can say is… wow. What a feeling. And having sex while high? Jesus, take the wheel.
So many things had changed, yet so much was still the same.
There was a knock at the door and, after Logan had shouted that it was unlocked, Ronald walked in. He’d been on desk duty for over a month, and it was safe to say Logan and I had stayed far away for that month because Ron was a miserable man when he had to follow orders.
Since then though, he was back to work, and Logan and I had even gone on a double date with Ronald and his wife. I’d even met his daughter, who Logan had helped get into rehab a while back. She was clean now, with a bachelor’s degree in Psychology.
“Kids,” Ronald acknowledged as he entered the kitchen ad helped himself to his own mug of coffee.
I stood and pecked him on the cheek. “What brings you here so early?”
He leaned a hip against the counter and took a sip of coffee before answering. “I’ve got a new girl out of Brookline. Nineteen. Trust fund kid with a serious coke problem. The parents are both news anchors and looking for a way to get her out of town and keep everything as discreet as possible. They’re willing to pay a hefty amount and I thought you’d be interested. What do you say, Ashford?”
Logan tilted his head from side to side and drummed his fingers against the table as he thought about his answer. Finally, he jerked his chin in my direction, shooting me one of those heart stopping smiles. “What do you say, J? You game?”
I smiled back at Logan, so caught up in him. My life, my heart, was so full it could explode. I’d spent so long surviving that I never experienced what it was like to live. At least, not until five months ago. Every day brought with it something new, and every day I was learning a little more about the person I was, the person I am now, and the person I wanted to be.
My life was not perfect by any means. Logan and I really knew how to argue. But we were also pros at making up. He had a temper, I was stubborn. Sometimes we clashed so hard it made me want to tear my goddamn hair out. Though, the thing was, I didn’t want to clash with anyone else.
I’d been wrong when I said Gran would have been rolling over in her grave. Gran would have been so proud of me, of the woman I’d become. Sometimes I missed her so much I ached with the pain of it, but I never had to deal with that ache alone.
Maybe that was real love. It wasn’t heart eyes and flowers. It was gritty and dirty, it was arguments until two in the morning when we’re both tired but unwilling to concede. It was aching when the other one ached, standing tall when the other one needed someone to lean on. It was being there, always. No questions asked.
Love was bone breakingly hard and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I’m game.” I finally responded with a smile.
Logan leaned in, kissing my temple. “Always have?” he whispered in my ear.
