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Bob opened his mouth and closed it. Then he ushered me in. “Yeah, okay.”
“Really?”
He shrugged. “I’m not sure why you want to do this, but I’d love to have loud pretend sex with you, Madison. That way, this weekend officially cannot get any weirder.”
Chapter Nine
BOB
“All right.” I motioned to the bed. “How loud, exactly?”
“Loud enough so that Pryce will hear us and go tell my mom. I saw him sneaking around the hall just now.”
I nodded, trying to pretend that this was all perfectly rational. She climbed onto the bed, her blond hair spilling all over the place, and I hesitated. “Why are we doing this exactly?”
Maddy sighed and lay back against the pillows. “My mother just accosted me. She really doesn’t believe you’re my boyfriend. She also thinks I wouldn’t know what to do with you…you know.” She motioned to the bed.
I chuckled. “Your mom’s something, all right.”
“I know.” She grimaced then put a pillow over her face.
“So the pretend sex is to…” Nope, I still didn’t get it. “Do what, exactly?”
“To put her on notice that we’re the real thing.” She peered out at me. “And to put her on notice that she’s wrong—about me, I mean.”
“Madison.” I sank down next to her. “Why do you care what your mother thinks? I mean, really.”
She leaned up, her face earnest. “Because she doesn’t get to win! She doesn’t know who I really am. She never did. I’m fun. I have lots of fun, all the time. And unlike what she said, I’d certainly know what to do with you!” She pointed in my direction then, horrified with herself, wrenched the pillow back over her face. “I just don’t want her to think that she’s right all the time. She’s the wrongest person I’ve ever met!” Her wail came out muffled.
I removed the pillow. “Okay. Let’s show her what’s what. I’m all in.”
Her eyes lit up. “Do you mean it? I was afraid you were going to make a break for it.”
“Trust me, it crossed my mind. But I’m loyal. I’m not going anywhere. C’mon.” I reached for her hands and pulled her up. “You ready?”
She nodded, eyes blazing. “I’ll start.” She threw her head back and moaned. “Oh yeah. Right there!” She leaned closer and whispered, “We can skip the foreplay. That’s usually pretty quiet.”
We both dissolved into silent laughter. But then I straightened, leaned closer to the wall, and called, “Yeah, girl! That’s so good, baby. Uh… uh…uh.”
Maddy’s eyeballs almost popped out of her head, and I felt myself begin to blush. I’d sounded way too close to what I actually sounded like when I was… you know. Embarrassed, but wanting to finish what we’d started, I made a circular motion with my finger, the universal sign for let’s get going!
Madison crawled toward the headboard and started slamming her palms against it. “Yes, just like that! Give it to me! Harder, harder!”
I got next to her, grabbed a pillow, and smacked it as if it were her ass.
“You can’t hear it,” she whispered.
I grabbed a magazine from the nightstand and spread it over the top of the pillow. Now it sounded like a proper spanking. “Love that ass!” I kept smacking, and Madison kept giggling as she shook the headboard.
She moaned some more, finding a rhythm as she kept beating her hands against the board. I grunted and tried to keep from staring at her as she threw her head back and yelled, “OH MY GOD, BOB! RIGHT THERE! YES, YES, YES!”
I gave the pillow one final smack, then we collapsed onto the bed, silently laughing. “Did you just When Harry Met Sally me?”
“I loved that movie.” She giggled. “That’s where I learned to fake it!”
I sobered up. “You wouldn’t have to fake it with me.” I waggled my eyebrows and gave the pillow another playful smack.
Madison reddened and cleared her throat. “Right. Well, that was fun! Hopefully Pryce heard us and is off reporting to my mom already!” She straightened herself and practically leapt off the bed.
