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“I do. Sorry. Couldn’t resist. And I know you don’t believe me, but despite his old-school ways, Dad really does want me happy. He’s not going to make trouble for us because you do make me happy, and he knows that.”
“You sure you’re happy?” Maybe Rain needed to hear it again, a few dozen times, and then he could start to believe in it more.
“Just ask Cookie.” Garrick gestured at the dog, who was already by the door, leash in her mouth, tail wagging because she sensed a car ride. “She’s so much calmer and perkier with us together. And I might not have a tail to shake, but that’s me too. When you’re not here, it feels like I’m missing something essential, like I’m a stack of kindling without the spark.”
Garrick’s pretty words made Rain’s skin heat and he kissed Garrick’s cheek. “I dunno. You might look cute wagging. And feel free to lick my...whatever.”
“Ha.” Garrick playfully swiped at Rain’s face with his tongue. “Seriously, though. You make me happy in so many little ways with your jokes and kindness and caring.”
“My caring? It feels like you’re always the one taking care of me. All week you had food for me even when it was late, and you spoil me in lots of other ways.”
“That’s exactly it. I love taking care of you. It’s quite possibly my favorite thing in the whole world, and it’s not that I think you need it or that you’re not capable of taking care of yourself, but I love that you let me. I think I was looking for something like this—someone like you—a very long time. It’s like I had all these little cracks, and us caring for either other, that fills them all in, makes me warm and cozy inside.”
“So you’re saying I’m like caulk?” Rain had to joke or else Garrick’s sweet speech was going to make him overwhelmed, make this tightness in his chest unbearable. And it wasn’t that he didn’t believe Garrick was sincere, but Garrick being this open about the depth of his feelings was...something. Something good, but also scary, wanting him this much, wanting to be wanted like this, and being worried it was all going to tumble down if he did or said the wrong thing.
“Hey, I never promised to be a poet.” Garrick kissed him again, slow and gentle. “All I’m trying to say is that you’re special. Special in general and special to me specifically. And I do think others can see and appreciate that specialness—like my dad.”
“I heard you on the phone with him the other day.” Rain finally admitted to one of the real sources of his discomfort. It hadn’t been an angry call at all, and it had ended with the invite, but there had been definite skepticism in the part Rain had overheard. “He thinks I’m going to leave. And I know Grandma does too. She’s been teasing me like I’m... I dunno...a fickle kid, I guess. Like this is another whim and I’ll change my mind soon enough.”
“So? Prove them wrong.” Giving him a tight squeeze first, Garrick locked eyes with him. “And I meant what I said the other day. If you do go, I’m going to follow. You’re not getting rid of me so easily.”
“Good.” He tried to let Garrick’s conviction chase away his doubts.
“I only want you happy. And I think that’s where the others are coming from too. Everyone wants you to find that thing in life that makes you the happiest, whatever and wherever that might be.”
“I did. I found you.” He held Garrick’s gaze this time, willing him to understand. Maybe he hadn’t found a profession for himself yet, but he’d found Garrick and Cookie and a place here, and that was something, something real and tangible.
“Damn. I love you.” Garrick’s tone was almost reverent, and it made a bubbly sensation race up Rain’s spine.
“Seriously?” They’d been dancing around the words for days now, talking about how much they cared and how they wanted this to work out. Sweet words and sweeter kisses, but not this exact wording, not yet.
“Told you. You’re special and I want to keep you around, whatever I have to do to make that happen. Yeah, I love you.”
“Thanks.” It wasn’t the same as saying the words back, but it was all he could seem to manage, throat tight and brain whirling. Love...that was a whole different level. He was still trying to wrap his head around Garrick caring enough to be willing to think about leaving his home. Love. That implied a permanence and an even greater depth of feeling that Rain wasn’t entirely sure what to do with. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to say the words back, but somehow he couldn’t.
Garrick frowned slightly, but if anything, he held Rain tighter. “I mean it. And I love all of you. Not just your smoking new swim attire.”
