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We got into the truck not long later. Matteo drove slowly through the streets, angling back toward my neighborhood and the playground. It was strange, it’d only been a day, but already everything looked different. Maybe because I knew that I was different, that my life could never go back to the way things were. No matter what, even if I walked away from Matteo and forgot about him, I was pregnant and I had to deal with that somehow. I’d have the baby, and my father would want to kill me.
Nessa was already sitting on the swing, a bag next to her on the ground, just like I’d asked. “I’ll be back,” I said and opened the door.
“I’ll wait here,” Matteo said, watching me carefully.
“No, drive around the block. I don’t want you staring.”
“Sam,” he said softly, but I shook my head.
“Just do it.” I shut the door and turned my back on the truck. I took a deep breath then marched over to the playground, and Nessa, and my old life.
She stood up when she spotted me and came running over. “Holy shit,” she said, throwing her arms around me. “I was honestly worried.”
“Sorry,” I said, hugging her back hard. “I didn’t mean for all that to happen.”
“What the hell was that?” she asked, stepping back, her eyes wide with excitement. “Your guy beat up four Healy dudes? One of them was my Cousin Danial, by the way, and he’s really pissed, been talking shit the whole time.”
“Matteo overreacted,” I said, drifting over to the swings. I sat down and nudged the bag with my foot. “What’s in there?”
“Clothes,” she said, waving a hand. “Overreacted is putting it mildly. I hear he pulled a gun.”
“He didn’t think they’d let me leave with him.” I smiled a little. “He was probably right. I didn’t realize he wasn’t in the family.”
“I didn’t either, you bad girl.” Nessa grinned and sat down next to me. “So what’s your plan? You ever going home again? I hear your dad’s pissed.”
“I’m sure he is,” I said, realizing that this was the longest I’d gone without checking in with him. “Does he know about the fight?”
“Of course, everyone heard about that. And he knows you left with some guy that’s not in the family, too.”
“Right.” I sucked in a breath. “And the baby?”
“Not yet, he doesn’t know,” Nessa said seriously. “I won’t tell until you’re ready, I swear it.”
“Thanks, Nessa,” I said, swinging slightly. I glanced toward the street and didn’t see Matteo’s truck anywhere. I had the sudden urge to find him and kiss him, although I knew it was only nerves speaking. I was on edge, being back on my family’s turf. “I need to make a decision and I hoped you would help.”
“Uh oh,” Nessa said. “It’s that serious, huh? He doesn’t want you to keep the baby?”
“What?” I blinked at her. “Oh, god, no, no, not that,” I said quickly. “No, he wants this baby more than I do, I think.” I laughed a little, shaking my head. “No, actually, I think it might be worse.”
“God, what could be worse?” she asked.
“He wants me to marry him.”
She stopped fidgeting with the swing and gaped at me. I smiled back nervously and shrugged a little bit like, what could I do?
“Holy fucking shitballs,” Nessa finally said. “Are you joking? Are you thinking about it? Is he rich or something? What’s happening right now? Isn’t he a total stranger?”
“One at a time,” I said, holding up a hand. “I’m not joking, and I am considering it, and he’s not rich but he does own a house, and yes, he’s a total stranger. That gets them all, right?”
“I don’t even know what to say.” Nessa shook her head, mouth hanging open, which might’ve been a first for her. I’d never seen her at a loss for words in all the time that I’d known her.
“It’s crazy, but he wants this baby and he wants to take care of me, and I guess it’s not a bad offer. I mean, what else could I expect, you know?”
“I have no clue what you mean,” Nessa said sincerely.
I clenched my jaw. I hated when she pretended like we weren’t little pieces to be moved around for the benefit of the Healy family. She pretended like she had a choice in the things she did, even though her father and brothers and cousins all pushed her into absolutely every decision she’d ever made.
“Come on, if I stayed here, my father would marry me off to some important up-and-coming Healy guy,” I said. “They’d want me to have a bunch of little Healy babies and spend all day sitting at home, thinking Healy thoughts. If I don’t do this, I’ll have even less choice about my life than if I do.”
