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“Why don’t we just skip that drink?” he offered.
Laura, feeling her heart hammering in her chest, her hands still wrapped around the drugstore bag, just nodded.
“The way you look right now, you’re so beautiful,” he said. “Makes me want to kiss you again.”
“Then do it,” she murmured.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
THE RAIN SCOURED the island for two straight days, turning some of the roads into streams as the deluge continued. Tourists stayed inside, and Mark and Laura found themselves landlocked, unable to take the boat out for a sail. Laura actually didn’t mind. The two hibernated inside, cooking simple meals and just relaxing together.
But it was hard not to think about the future, about when the rain let up, about the impending race. Then there was what could happen after the race. What if they did win and Mark sailed around the world without her? What if they lost? Would that mean she could somehow keep Mark? But how? Relocate to St. Anthony’s? How would she earn a living?
Worse, she hadn’t had a chance to discreetly take the pregnancy test. Mark was with her all the time, even in the shower. The unused test sat hidden beneath some of her clothes in one of his drawers. She’d need to do it. Soon. She’d had one chance in the bathroom but she chickened out at the last minute. Laura had to find the resolve to do it.
The more time passed, the more she told herself it couldn’t be possible that she was pregnant, despite the fact that her period never arrived. And she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. She wanted a baby more than anything, but would a pregnancy scare Mark? And what would she do if she was pregnant and had another miscarriage? The thought made her want to curl up in a fetal position. Laura wasn’t sure she’d ever be ready to survive another blow like that one. Could she risk it?
It seemed easier not to know. She knew she needed to take the test. Put to rest the nagging doubt. Yet part of her didn’t want to. Didn’t want to face the reality.
The same part that ran away to St. Anthony’s. It’s what her sister, Maddie, would’ve told her. Time to be an adult.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Mark asked as he stirred the spaghetti sauce on the stove. He’d opened a jar and then added a few ingredients of his own—sautéed onions and peppers and some ground beef—and now he dipped a wooden spoon in and gave it a little taste.
“Just thinking about the future,” she admitted, not yet ready to tell Mark about her missed period. She needed to take the test, figure this out once and for all.
“That’s dangerous,” he said, and she felt a little flutter of nerves in her stomach. Don’t be that girl, she told herself, the one clamoring for clarification, for commitment. Just live in the moment. Just…be.
“Wondering what happens if we don’t win the race,” she managed.
Mark held out a spoonful of spaghetti sauce for her to taste. She took it, the sweet, savory flavors hitting her tongue in the perfect combination. “Mmm,” she said. “Delicious.” Her stomach grumbled a little, eager for more. She seemed not to be able to get full these days. Her appetite had more than made a comeback, and her once-loose shorts were getting tight again. But she’d worry about that later. Right now, she was in the moment with Mark, here in his kitchen, feeling…happy.
“We’ll do fine, whether we win or lose,” he said.
“But your dream—sailing around the world. I want that for you.” Laura wanted it more than anything, even if it meant being separated from him. If it helped him honor his son, then she wanted it. If there was something she could do, something for her baby who’d never been born, she would, too.
Mark frowned, lost in thought. “Look, Laura, are you sure you want to do this?” He stopped stirring and looked at her.
“Of course I do.”
“It can get dangerous. Things happen in races. Sometimes, boats run into each other. Boats stall. Sailors get thrown overboard. Sometimes it can get dangerous.” Mark studied her. “Once, a few years ago, someone fell overboard and because it was so close to the other boats, he got knocked unconscious by another one behind his. Drowned. It was a freak accident, but still. Sometimes things happen.”
Laura wasn’t deterred. “I don’t care.”
“Tomorrow it will be far more stressful than it has been so far,” Mark warned her. “Not nearly as relaxed as it’s been in practice.”
“I figured.”
“Sometimes things get intense,” Mark said. “Are you ready for that?”
“Definitely,” she said, thinking about how much she’d enjoyed putting her hands to work since she’d been on the island and how much sailing had been a part of that. She loved helping to steer the boat and feeling like she was part of something bigger than herself. It wasn’t just being on a racing team. It was also being out in nature, on the water and in the wind and sun.
