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“That I was ill with longing for you.”
She could almost laugh. “Unwise, my lord.”
He buried his face in her hair. “It’s the truth. But I was discreet. I told him that urgent family business awaited me. How have you been?”
“Very … not well,” she said. “I wrote to my brother and some agents in Osterling. I lied to Kathe.”
Raul drew back and touched her cheek. “I’m sorry for the necessity.”
He looked ill, she thought. Dark circles shadowed his eyes, there were faint lines around his mouth—lines of laughter transformed into lines of pain. Her heart ached at the sight, and when Raul touched the corner of her mouth, she nearly burst into tears.
She drew a deep breath. “So. When do we argue?”
“Tonight.”
A shiver ran through her. “So soon?”
“Soon or never,” Raul said. “I cannot pretend much longer. Besides, I heard talk at Lord Vieth’s. The sooner you leave, the better chance we have to avoid suspicion.”
“I thought the parole—”
“—is temporary, I believe. I doubt Lord Khandarr trusts me. And I learned years ago not to trust him.”
She nodded. Laid her palm against Raul’s chest. His heart was beating as fast as hers. If she pretended—
No more pretense. No more delays.
“Very well,” she said. “Tonight.”
* * *
RAUL SENT ORDERS to Mistress Raendl for a private dinner served in the Blue Salon. Ilse waited until the girls were laying out dishes and lighting candles, before she hurried into the room, just a few steps ahead of Raul.
Raul caught up and spun her around. “Why the old rooms?” he asked, in a tense whisper.
Steffi glanced up, her eyes wide, but immediately busied herself with the arranging the wine cups.
“Why?” Raul repeated, louder.
“Not here,” Ilse whispered. “Not now.”
“Because of them?” He flung out a hand, and Dana jumped. “Why do you care what they hear? You didn’t keep it a secret from Kathe.”
Ilse pressed her lips together, trembling. “Kathe is my friend.”
“So much your friend that you betrayed my concerns to her.”
“No!” Her chin jerked up. “I’ve betrayed nothing. But I’m tired of secrets, Raul. Sick and miserably tired. Do you understand?”
Raul smacked the wall with his hand. “Go!” he said to the serving girls. “We can serve ourselves.”
He slammed the door shut after them and rounded on Ilse. “You knew that I cannot have children. Are you blind? Deaf?”
“Neither. I thought—”
“What? You thought what?”
“Let me finish!” Her voice cracked. “I thought we could have children. You said it yourself. Magic crippled you. Magic can heal you. If you truly wanted children, you could find a mage—”
