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“Khandarr was furious,” Iani said. “He called up magic so thick that I could hardly breathe. Dedrick fought hard against it. Gods, I thought his throat would burst. And then …” His eyes went wide and blank as though recalling that final scene. “And then it did.”
Ilse pressed a hand against her mouth. Emma Theysson did the same. Only Raul did not move or change his expression.
“Blood everywhere,” Iani whispered. “Over me. Over Khandarr and the stone floor and bars to Dedrick’s cell. I even saw blood upon the ceiling. Blood and— Khandarr tried to revive him with magic, but it was far too late.”
He dropped his head into his hands. A tremor went through him, then he was still. Emma Theysson stroked his hair. Her hands were shaking, and tears glittered on her cheeks. It was impossible to offer comfort, Ilse thought. There was none. Not after such a report.
Raul stood and walked to the door. Ilse heard him send runners for soup and bread. He sent another to Mistress Denk with orders to prepare a private room for Lady Theysson and Lord Iani’s comfort. His gaze, when he turned around, had a strange wild light, but his manner was gentle as he knelt by Iani’s side. “Benno, I want you to stay here. Eat and rest. Keep Emma by your side. I … I promise I shall do whatever I can for you. Whatever it takes. Even if that means doing nothing at all.”
Iani lifted his head, bewildered. “What are you saying?”
“You will see.” Then Raul was striding toward the door.
“Where are you going?” Ilse called out.
Raul glanced back with a thin smile. “I am going to think.”
His footsteps rang off the tiles as he ran down the stairs. Ilse hesitated only a moment before she hurried after him.
She overtook him at the landing. “Raul, where are you going? Talk to me!”
“Why? You heard what Benno said. Khandarr will murder us all unless I—” He broke off and rubbed his hand over his face, wincing. “There will be no more shadow court. I’ll go home to my father. Take up my duties as his heir. It’s all that’s left to me.”
“You must not give up,” she said. “Not yet.”
“Why not? Dedrick is dead because of my arrogance. And for what? Perhaps there is no difference between Armand and me, except in degree. He would send thousands to die in his wars, and I allowed Dedrick to go alone into danger.”
“So you will do nothing?” Ilse asked.
“I cannot do anything else.”
His voice, soft and low and barely under control, broke on the last word. By instinct, she reached out to touch his arm. Raul flinched away. The expression on his face reminded her of the day he had released her from her imprisonment. Worse. He had seemed diminished then. Now he looked defeated. He should be king, Ilse thought. He could be, if only he were free to act.
Free. Of course. With that, all the shock and confusion bled away. She knew what to do.
“If you cannot, then I must,” she said.
That caught his attention. “What do you mean?”
“I must leave you,” she said. A pang went through her. She nearly recanted before she had finished. Quickly now, she told herself. Say the rest before you lose heart. “I must leave you,” she repeated. “For a time. So Markus Khandarr cannot threaten you through me. So you can act. However you deem necessary.”
Raul’s face drained of color. “No,” he whispered. Then louder. “No! It won’t do any good, Ilse. Khandarr will murder you. And he would force me to watch. Just as he did with Benno and Dedrick. He will do it because you were once connected with me. That’s the only reason he needs—”
“But if you do nothing, we might all die in that bloody senseless war that Armand wants. Or if we survive, we might wish we had not. Is that what you want for this kingdom? Is that what you want for yourself?” Her voice dipped into bitterness. “If you choose cowardice, that is your own affair. But do not make it mine.”
His chin jerked up. His face flushed. “If you think me a coward, you do not know me.”
“I think I never did,” Ilse said, her voice rising higher. “You once said you needed my honesty. You said you wanted me to speak the truth, my lord. Were you lying? Or did you hope I’d always agree, no matter what? That I should pretend? Never again, Raul. I will never pretend again. Not even for you. If you think I can, if you think I would, you do not know me.”
They glared at each other.
Raul was the first to let his gaze fall away. “I need to walk,” he muttered. “Somewhere. Anywhere.”
He spun around, stumbled, and caught himself. Ilse watched him lurch down the stairs. He was clumsy in his despair, as though Khandarr had robbed him of that, too. Let him go, she thought. He needs to grieve alone.
She leaned her forehead against the cool plaster wall. Far below, she heard Raul call out to one of the guards. She ought to return to the Rose Parlor. Ought to see to Benno and Emma. Or no. Let them have quiet together.
She took refuge in a parlor on the second floor. There was a couch, wide enough for two. She only needed space for one. She stretched out and laid her head on the soft pillow. Sleep, however, was impossible. Images flickered before her mind’s eye—Benno’s shaking hands, Emma’s
