AllFreeNovel
Share Us
'I would have thought it was obvious,' she replied defiantly.
'You know damn well what I mean,' he snapped. 'Coming down here was a mad thing to do, but to swim alone is just downright insane!'
'I'm fine out here. I------'
'No, you are not, damn you! Swim back to the shore, I want to talk to you.'
'I—er------No, no, we can talk here.'
'Don't be stupid,' he rasped. 'If you're worried about your lack of clothing, don't be. I'm as naked as you are.’
'You are?' she squeaked. 'I mean, are you?' she asked in a more controlled voice.
‘I am. Now swim back to shore, it's about time we had a little chat about this marriage of ours,' he added grimly.
Hazel felt her heart sink. He wanted to end things between them, wanted to bring to an end this marriage that had brought them nothing but unhappiness.
She felt shy about leaving the protection of the water, but Rafe had no such inhibitions; his body was firm and muscled in the moonlight. He watched her mockingly as she slowly followed him.
He turned his back on her. 'Let's go to the cabin,' he suggested shortly. That way you can put some clothes on.'
Hazel got under the sheet while he pulled on his trousers, their only lighting a candle in the corner of the room. If Rafe had come here to tell her their marriage was over she didn't think she could take it.
'You came down those steps again,' he attacked her fiercely. 'I've told you time and time again that it's dangerous, but you never listen to me. I expected to find you lying in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the cliff when I stumbled over your heel.'
'Disappointed?' she taunted.
He took a ragged breath. 'I don't believe I've ever given you reason to think I wanted you hurt.'
'The last few days------'
'I think I can be excused those,' he dismissed impatiently. 'I've felt murderous towards everyone the last few days, not just you.'
'Including Janine Clarke?' she couldn't resist this dig.
His blue eyes narrowed. 'What's that supposed to mean?'
'It means, have you felt murderous towards your mistress too?'
He looked astounded. 'My what?'
'Don't play games with me, Rafe. I know you've been visiting her.'
'And how do you know that?'
'Because you come to our bed smelling of that delicate perfume she always wears!' she declared. 'And then you expect me to respond to you!'
'Wait a minute,' he stopped her. 'Are you telling me that you think I've been sleeping with Janine and then coming home to you with the same intention?'
'Yes!’
'God, what sort of animal do you take me for?'
She looked confused. 'I—I don't------'
'Don't think me an animal?' he confronted her. 'What do you think me then, a sexual athlete? I may think Janine attractive, but I have definitely never been to bed with her. Do you think I would have been in this mood of the last few days if I had?'
'But I—you------' she began.
'I want you! You know damn well I do. You've already made it clear you intend to drive me insane with wanting you, so why think I have another woman? Believe me, if I could find any sort of relief by taking another woman I would, but you're in my blood and have been for the last three years.'
'The last three years...?'
He nodded, his eyes filled with pain. 'I let you go once and when you came, back this time I knew I couldn't do it again. I haven't touched another woman since you went away, and now that I'm married to you I can't have you either,' he said bleakly.
'You could take me now, there would be no one to stop you,' she told him softly.
'Oh yes, there would, there would be a pair of accusing brown eyes. Yours.'
'Rafe, do you love me?' She had the wonderful feeling that he did.
'You really want me on my knees, don't you?' he said bitterly.
'No. I------'
‘And I would be,' he moaned, 'if I thought it would make you love me, if I thought for one moment it would make you feel a tenth of what I feel for you. But I would just be wasting my time.'
'Do you love me?' she persisted.
'Oh God, yes,' he groaned. 'Yes, I love you! I've loved you since you were fifteen years old.'
Hazel's eyes were wide. 'Since I was fifteen?'
'Yes,' he said savagely. 'And since that time I've been suffering the agonies of hell. I've had to watch you grow up, had to watch the way you flirted with other men, the way you teased and tempted them. And I've been tempted and teased a hundred times more than any of them.'
'But you sent me away after—-after------'
His eyes flared with feeling. 'Of course, I did! I was already thirty-six at that time, twice your age, and I should have had more control.' He sighed. 'But I didn't have—I took you, revelled in you, and made my hell a living, breathing thing. You were innocent and yet you responded to me so enchantingly, and if anything my love for you deepened. It was because of that I had to send you away.'
'But—but why?'
'Because I had no right to your youth. I'd already taken the most precious gift you had to give a man, I couldn't take anything else away from you.'
'Rafe, it was because my virginity was the most precious thing I had to give that I gave it to you,' she told him gently.
'It was?' He looked uncertain.
'You've been the sun, moon and stars to me for so long now that I was sure you must have known I loved you,' she told him. 'It wasn't until the next day that I realised not one word of love had passed your lips. We'd been lovers, but as far as I knew it meant nothing to you. I felt like dying at the time.'
Rafe took a step towards her and then stopped. 'And now,' he breathed huskily, 'how do you feel now?'
Her answer was to stand up and go towards him, her eyes never leaving his flushed face. She kissed him slowly on his lips, all the time aware of what her nakedness was doing to him. 'Right now I want you to make love to me,' she murmured against his lips. 'And it will be making love, Rafe, as it was three years ago, for both of us.'
His hands trembled as he touched her. 'You won't turn away from me after a few kisses? I don't think I could stop myself this time.'
'I'll never turn away from you again. I love you, Rafe, and from now on I want to share everything with you.'
His eyes darkened. 'Everything?'
'Everything,' she said throatily.
'Oh, Hazel,' he groaned against her throat. ‘Love me, love me!' He swung her up into his arms, both of them lying down on the bed. 'I'll never let you go again. Never, Hazel!'
'I'll never allow you to let me go again. Hush, Rafe,' she put her fingers over his lips as he went to speak again. 'We'll talk later.'
'Later ...' His mouth parted hers, his hands caressing.
She lay replete in his arms, her head resting on his bare shoulder. Their lovemaking had been everything she remembered and more, Rafe crying out his love for her even while he gave her pleasure insurmountable.
'Rafe, why did you tell Celia about that night we spent together here?' It was something that had been troubling her, especially as Rafe had now told her he loved her all the time. To talk to someone else of their night together didn't seem the action of a man in love.
He frowned down at her. 'But I didn't. I thought you had.'
She laughed. 'Celia and I were never that close that I would divulge my innermost secrets to her.'
'Then if I didn't and you didn't, how did------? I think I can guess. After my accident I was delirious for a while, and you were weighing heavily on my mind. Celia was with me a lot during that time and I could have told her then. I know damn well I never consciously told her.'
Hazel laughed her relief. 'I really thought you'd told her. She said------'
'Yes?' he prompted sharply.
'She said you had,' she admitted reluctantly.
Rafe took a deep breath. 'I think it's as well that Celia has moved away.'
'If you loved me before I went away why were you so cold to me when I came back?'
He put up a rueful hand to his scars. 'Because of these, because I'm what Celia said I was, scarred and crippled.'
'You're not,' she said fiercely. 'The scars don't matter
to me. You said they hurt you every day of your life, Rafe—are they that painful?'
'No,' he held her to him. 'They hurt me because I thought they kept you away from me.'
'Never! And you can have your hip operated on if you want to.' She licked her lips. 'I think you should have that operation.'
'Why?'
'Because the doctor said you should, and because you should if you want to play with the children. They'll want to play football and tennis, things like that.'
His eyes widened. 'What children?'
'Oh, we're going to have children, Rafe.' She smiled. 'You'll never know how much I wished I was having your baby three years ago.'
His arms tightened. 'I would have welcomed it—that way I could have married you. I was glad when Sara found us in my room together. I wanted you very badly, but I couldn't take you again without marriage, much as the temptation was that you put my way. But you didn't seem to care for me, except to feel desire too, and I didn't know what to do. When you told me so glibly that you could be pregnant by Josh Richardson I felt like wringing your neck. The thought of any other man knowing you as intimately as I have put me through agony. So when the chance came for me to marry you I took it with both hands.'
'Do you believe me when I say there have been no other men, that you're the only one for me?'
'If you say it's so. But if you felt like this about me why didn't you------' Rafe broke off.
'Why didn't! what?'
'It doesn't matter,’ he dismissed. 'I have you now, that's all that matters.'
'Please, Rafe, tell me,' she begged.
'You didn't come to me when I had my accident,' his voice shook and she knew how badly it still hurt him. 'When you didn't come I wanted to die. I thought I would die, and when I lived I despised you and the level you'd reduced me to.'
