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But she couldn’t help it. Crowds made her nervous. Odd people rode the bus sometimes and at this very moment, she felt extremely alone and vulnerable.
She should’ve taken a taxi.
As if you can afford one.
Scanning through her phone, she looked up Greyhound ticket prices and times, realizing that she’d have a long wait at the terminal according to the few listings she saw that would work for her. It would have to do. She didn’t have a choice. There was no way she could go back to Matteo’s apartment and beg him to see her. Beg him to listen to what she had to say.
She shouldn’t have to explain herself. He should’ve accepted her word, no questions asked. It hurt, to see the doubt in his gaze, hear the anger in his voice when he’d asked if what the article said was true.
How dare he doubt her? That was what hurt the most. What felt like a betrayal. That he believed a stupid article filled with lies over the woman he supposedly loved. What sort of relationship could they ever have if he couldn’t take her word? If he couldn’t trust her?
A terrible relationship, that was what they’d have. And no way would she subject herself to that—and him—any longer.
No matter how much she loved him. No matter how much she would miss him and Matty. The entire family, even the grumpy brothers who were wary of her intentions. But she couldn’t do this to herself any longer. Their love would be built on a weak foundation and the first flaw she displayed, he’d reject her, making the entire thing collapse.
She couldn’t risk it. Couldn’t risk having herself beat up any longer, even though her heart was long ago stomped into a bloody pulp, since eventually she would have to leave Matteo. She’d wanted so desperately to believe that they could last. But her secret fears had been realized.
Paige would just have to learn how to deal.
Matteo knew most people who knew him would say he was a cold-hearted son of a bitch. And he wouldn’t deny it. He was a businessman first and foremost. He’d learned long ago to keep his emotions in check, strategize properly and not let his heart dictate what he needed to do next. Leading with his brain, analyzing every situation—that was safe. Thinking with his emotions only led to trouble.
He’d thrown that to the wind when he met Lucia. She’d seized his body more than his heart and he’d let his dick lead him straight to her time and again. She’d been like an addiction he couldn’t kick. And once he realized he was in too deep to walk away, he stuck by her. He tried to create a family with her and it fell apart. She fell apart.
And then she died.
He hadn’t cried at the funeral. He hadn’t cried when he first learned of her death. The terrible thing was, he hadn’t been surprised. She’d been unwell right up to her death. The supposed love he felt for her early on in their relationship had slowly died. He cared for her. She was the mother of his child—but a horrible mother, as reluctant as he was to say that, let alone think it.
Once Lucia was gone, he’d felt almost…relieved.
A terrible, horrible feeling, the guilt haunted him over the immediate months after her death. But as time went on, the guilt eased. He had Matty, his family, his business. He was satisfied. He didn’t need anyone else.
And then he met Paige.
She’d won him over despite how much he tried to fight her. His attraction grew. And grew and grew and grew until she was all he could see, want, need. At first, his reaction to her scared him. Reminded him of the all-consuming passion he’d felt for Lucia. But their relationship had been based purely on the physical.
With Paige, his heart swelled when he saw how she was with his son. Tender. Loving. Generous. Her relationship with his mother, his sister…they adored Paige. She was kind and thoughtful. Shy and hesitant one moment, bold and passionate the next, mysterious and open and sweet and wicked, she’d slowly entered his heart until he couldn’t think, couldn’t function, couldn’t breathe unless he knew where Paige was if she wasn’t with him.
Letting his jealousy get the best of him was stupid. Letting her escape without knowing where she went was unforgivable. His heart literally hurt, felt as if it had been ripped in two and she’d somehow taken the other piece with her. Sick to his stomach, his head spinning, his entire body aching, his eyes burned…
If he didn’t know any better, he’d think he was close to falling apart and shedding a few tears.
“What did you do to Paige?” Matty asked, his gaze shrewd, his mouth curved into a frown.
“It’ll be fine,” Matteo said, hoping like hell he wasn’t lying. “She had to go out for a bit. She’ll be back.”
