Page 11 of Fat

"Change your mind? We can wait."

I was being stupid. It's not like my clothes hid that I was fat. It wasn't like he'd suddenly get me naked and it would be a surprise. He knew what he was getting into. Except part of me didn't believe that. Part of me still believed he'd be disgusted by me. Even though he'd chased me, even though he'd had his fingers between my thighs on the boat, and even though he was hard and had been all night.

"No, I didn't change my mind." I tilted my face up to kiss him again.

This time, he was tender, his kiss gentle. "I mean it, Claire. We can take our time."

I was such a fucking spaz. I wished I could be that confident, sexy woman I pretended to be. That everyone believed I was. I hated that I wasn't. To punish myself, I decided to confess. "I had a moment of self-doubt, but I'm over it."

He propped himself up on his elbows and searched my face. "About this? It's fine."

"No, about me. About..." I looked away from him. Yeah, this was why confession was a punishment. "About you wanting me after we took our clothes off."

Brant dipped his head and kissed my neck, sending shivers through me. "For being such a smart woman, that's a stupid thing for you to think. Can't you feel how much I want you?"

The self-doubt monkeys that were clawing their way up my back said that because he was a man, he'd fuck anything. He'd stick his dick anywhere because it was available, not because he wanted me. But that was stupid.

And cruel, both to me and to him. It painted him with an asshole brush that he'd never done anything to deserve.

"You're beautiful, Claire. You're sexy. You're smart. You're kind. You're everything."

His words felt good, but his hands felt even better. They were reverent and worshipful as they moved down my curves—a physical proof that what he said was true. I allowed him to peel my dress off and even in the dark, it was hard for me to look at him.

But he never stopped praising me as he undressed me. When I was naked, the look on his face was like he'd unwrapped some sort of treasure. It was like a drug and I was already addicted. I wanted to feel this way all the time. I never wanted that to stop.

I realized I was being selfish. I'd made this all about me and he seemed content to let me do that. I didn't deserve him. Not because of my body, but because I was here with him when I really wanted to be with Kieran.

It would serve me right if he'd really rather be there with April.

This was why I didn't date, this was why I didn't hook up. I could never just let go and enjoy the experience. I always had to pick everything to death and then pick at it some more.

I reached between us to unbutton his jeans.

"Condoms? We didn't stop and buy any."

"Nightstand."

He reached over me and grabbed one of the foil packets from the drawer. But he didn't rush, he kept kissing me as if we had all night, and I supposed we did. We had all the time in the world.

He had nowhere to go except here with me.

I ran my hands over his back, enjoying the texture of his skin. Smooth and warm, the hard planes of muscle rippling under my touch. I arched up against him, wanting to feel more of him. I couldn't get close enough. With the scent of Blue in my nose, I remembered the way he'd touched me on the boat. How I surrendered to that pleasure, to him.

He filled his hands with my breasts, his caress still unhurried and languid. It turned me on that he'd been so aroused, but still had iron control—that he wasn't rushing.

Another sound from Kieran's room shattered the web of desire he'd woven around me and I giggled again.

Brant didn't laugh this time. His eyes narrowed. "I take this as a personal challenge. In about five minutes, you're not going to care if the world ends, let alone what's going on in the next room."

I wondered what else he could possibly do to me because he'd already brought me off once.

His intentions became clear when he slid down between my thighs.

"I...that's not going to work."

"What do you mean, it's not going to work?"

I blushed, which was stupid. We couldn't get much more intimate, but it embarrassed me to talk about my orgasms, or lack thereof. "I'm not one of those multi-orgasmic women. I got one, so I'm going to be done until tomorrow."

"Whoever you've been with either didn't know what he was doing, or he was a selfish bastard completely unworthy of getting anywhere near this delicious body."

I swallowed hard. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Back at you." He gave me a nod that made me tremble. He was so confident, so sure of his own skill set that I couldn't help but believe him.

The first touch of his tongue was bliss, but I didn't think it would lead anywhere. It would be a bunch of build up for no payoff.

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