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I found Shane in his office after I had taken care of important calls and meetings.
“You almost look good when you’re pretending to work,” I said.
“Fuck you, I’m bringing in money. What are you bringing in right now?”
“A whole lot of rumors. Jealous?”
“Not on your life. None of those reporters are hot.”
We laughed, and I shook my head. If we could joke about what was happening, things were definitely getting better. To see the humor in a bad situation meant that we were moving further away from it.
“Lunch?” I asked.
“You bet. I’ve been dying to get out of the office. Pretending to be a busy man is harder work than being a busy man.”
I laughed, and we left the office.
After we ordered food, I leaned back and looked around. I wanted to talk to Shane, but I had no idea where to start.
“Have you ever been in love?” I asked.
Shane pulled a face that suggested he didn’t even know what I was referring to. “Are you asking for a friend?”
I chuckled. “I was just wondering. What do you even do when that happens?”
“I’m assuming you’re trying to tell me you’re in love or something.”
I shrugged and looked at Shane without answering him.
He looked disgusted. “Who are you, and what did you do with Brett?”
“Very funny. That has to be the shittiest line between bros. I’m serious.”
Shane shook his head and looked disbelieving. “It’s Erica, isn’t it?”
I nodded.
“I knew she was trouble since the moment I saw her,” Shane said.
“Don’t be an asshole,” I said, but I was grinning because Shane was just fucking with me. I had expected him to act like this. In a way, joking made it easier to talk about it. “What do I do?”
“Why are you asking me? It sounds like you want to do something that you shouldn’t.”
“That’s the thing. I’m not sure what I should and shouldn’t do anymore. I mean, I’m falling for her. But everything is up in the air right now, and I’m worried that if it restarts on this note, it’s not going to last.”
“All good points, but I don’t understand where this is coming from. I’ve never seen you like this, man. We don’t fall in love. Right?”
I shrugged. “I always thought that, but I can’t help what I feel. So I’m asking for your advice, not your judgment.”
“That’s a noble thing to ask of me,” Shane said. “Unfortunately, I can’t agree with your decision. I don’t think it’s a good idea to be involved with her at all.”
“Because of the company?” I asked.
“Among other things. But it’s more about you. I know you, man. What happens when you get bored of her after you’re committed? What then? It’s difficult enough to get rid of them after the first night. Can you imagine how hard it will be after a couple of months?”
I shook my head. I had talked to Shane about it because he was the only person I could turn to, but I was starting to think it was a mistake. I knew he didn’t think about things the same way I did, and I had started feeling differently about one-night stands and fucking around for no reason lately. I just hadn’t noticed how far Shane and I had grown apart. I had never told him that I wasn’t interested in playing games anymore. I had never told him that I had started thinking about settling down.
Now that I had met Erica, I knew she was the type of woman I could settle down with. Erica was everything I had always imagined when I thought about creating a life that wasn’t about sex and alcohol.
“Look,” Shane carried on. “Even if it is just for the sake of the company, don’t go there. I get that you want to follow your heart, I guess. But if the company goes down, you’re not the only one that’s going to lose. You forget that I’m invested in this company as much as you are.”
Shane was right. With everything going wrong, he hadn’t complained to me once. He hadn’t blamed me for everything that the company had gone through even though it had affected him as well. I should have concentrated on that, but instead, I had been so taken with Erica that I hadn’t noticed everything else. Maybe Shane was right, I had become someone he didn’t recognize. Sometimes even I thought I had become someone I didn’t recognize. But wasn’t that the point?
