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We went through the motions, attending meetings, taking care of deals, and checking in with regional managers and directors.
By lunchtime, I wasn’t sure anymore how much I liked that Erica was so relaxed about everything. I had been very happy that she had been so neutral in front of everyone else, but she hadn’t given me anything that made me think she had enjoyed last night. I wasn’t sure what she thought at all.
The first time I wanted a woman to care about me and what I did with her, and she didn’t give a shit. Go fucking figure.
At lunchtime, I found Shane and suggested we leave to find a restaurant. I had to get away from the office.
When we sat down in the restaurant, we ordered food.
“I fucked her,” I said.
“What?”
“Erica. I fucked her.”
Shane stared at me for a moment before he broke into a grin. “Oh my God. When?”
“Last night,” I said. “In the office.”
Shane laughed, shaking his head. “I can’t believe it. Just when I thought you were losing your touch or something, you go ahead and do something crazy like that. That takes balls, man.”
“It’s no big deal,” I said.
“Are you kidding me? Not only are you fucking someone in the office, you’re doing it at the office. Under HR’s nose, practically.”
He was right. It had been a great risk. And a hell of a thrill because of it.
“You are officially my hero,” Shane said. “Can you imagine what would happen if it came out?”
“God, don’t remind me,” I said.
“So, is she any good?”
“You know I’m not going to discuss that with you. Especially not if you know her.”
“So she was fantastic then,” Shane said, and he laughed that keening laugh men produced when they were thinking dirty thoughts.
“It was only once,” I said.
“Seriously? You’re giving it up already?”
“It’s safer that way,” I said. “Besides, she’s only talking about work-related stuff. It’s like last night never happened.”
“That’s perfect,” Shane said. “How many bitches just don’t get the idea when you tell them to fuck off, right?”
I shrugged. “I was hoping she would at least acknowledge it.”
“Why? If you’re not interested in doing it again, why the fuck does it matter? I should think you’re in luck that she’s not on your ass about this. Especially considering she knows how much you’re worth.”
That was true. A lot of women wanted to be with me that much more when they knew how much I was worth. And thanks to the media, everyone knew I had a lot of money. Fucking gold diggers.
But Erica wasn’t like that. It was what I liked about her.
“I think you should count your blessings,” Shane said. “’She’s looking at it as a one-night stand and nothing more. I wish I had that.”
I nodded.
“So, there’s nothing you’re going to tell me about what happened?” He was still fishing for details. If Shane wasn’t having sex, he was thinking about it or talking about it.
“Not on your life, buddy.” I laughed. I wasn’t going to satisfy Shane’s curiosity. Erica was at the office. I didn’t want Shane to perv over what I had told him whenever he looked at her. Erica deserved respect, and talking about her like she was a piece of ass was nothing about respect.
It didn’t take long before Shane started talking about his own exploits, and I was happy to listen rather than have to deflect every time he tried to get answers out of me. While Shane went on about pussy, my mind drifted to Erica. I wondered what Shane had said. Why the fuck did it matter that Erica was only talking about work? I should have been counting my blessings like he had said.
But for some reason, it bothered me. I had wanted her to look at me like I was the one that had made her scream and she wanted me to do it again. I wanted her to flirt with me and smile at me and be as distracted as I was. Instead, she was going about her business as usual, and I was the one with a woman on my mind, even though we had agreed it wasn’t something that would continue.
What was going on with me? I couldn’t put my finger on it. Maybe it was because I didn’t have control. I was so used to the women wanting to see me again and having to let them off easy that now the roles were reversed I was way out of my depth.
