Page 65

Especially when that selfish or rebellious thing comes in the form of a ridiculously attractive twenty-five-year-old who takes great pleasure in making me come.

“Mmm,” Joshua hums from behind me, pulling me into him until my back is pressed against his chest. “You’re still here.”

With a sigh, I settle into him, loving the feel of his arms around me.

It’s strange, considering I hated whenever Wyatt would try to spoon me first thing in the morning.

“I’m still here,” I echo, sliding my hand over his arm and linking my fingers with his. “You were right, by the way.”

He nuzzles my neck. “What’s that?”

“Last week, when I thought we’d had sex, and you told me I’d know if we had. You were definitely right.” I groan as I shift against him, every muscle in my body screaming in protest, but in the best way possible. “I’m sore everywhere. And I mean everywhere.”

“I’m sorry.” His mouth skims my shoulder. The simple affection sends an ache through me. “I didn’t mean to be so rough. I just can’t seem to control myself around you.”

“Don’t apologize.”

I turn in his arms to face him, and Lord help me, he’s even sexier first thing in the morning. His eyes are heavy with sleep, and his hair is a mess. I run my fingers through it, pushing a few strands away from his forehead.

“I like when you lose control around me.”

“Me, too.” He leans forward and runs his lips along mine.

It’s nothing like his hungry kisses from last night. This one is soft. Slow. Tender. The kind of kiss that can ruin a person.

When he pulls back, his gaze moves over my face. “So no regrets?”

“No regrets.”

“Good.” He pulls me against him, and I rest my head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

But as I toy with the dark hair on his chest, I sense a shift in the air. As if he’s about to ask the question we’ve both avoided since I walked into his house last night and decided to be selfish for once in my life.

“So what does this mean for us?” His voice breaks the silence. “Not that I expect there to be an us,” he adds quickly. “I just want to…manage expectations, more or less.”

With a heavy sigh, I roll onto my back, trying to organize the warring thoughts in my head.

“Is it a cop-out if I say I don’t know?”

“Not if it’s truly how you feel.” He traces a lazy circle around my hipbone.

“I’m in a weird place right now. My entire life feels like it’s been knocked off its axis in the last few weeks. To say it’s a mess is a giant fucking understatement.”

“Just answer me this…” He props himself up on one elbow. “Do you want to work things out with Wyatt?”

“God, no,” I respond faster than I expect.

But it’s the truth.

It took seeing those diamonds hanging from another woman’s ears for me to admit what I’d been refusing to acknowledge for years.

Whatever Wyatt and I once had, it’s no longer enough.

Maybe it never was.

“I’m going to file for divorce. But with who he is, there are things I have to consider. Which also means I can’t exactly start dating someone else right now.”

“What about in private?”