Page 14
“Something great, actually. I think.” Tyler rubbed his face, still uncertain how to explain.
She gave him a weird, worried look. “Uhhh-kay. Who did you meet at this hour?”
“Josh Ayres,” Tyler confessed, leaning against the kitchen counter and watching as Nadia’s eyes widened in surprise and pleasure. “Remember him? Scrawny kid in high school, bookworm, lived in the library. Chess or drama a lot too, I think.”
“Both, actually. Wow, that’s a nice surprise.” Nadia chuckled. She bent to pour kibble into the cat’s bowl and scratched under Mr. Poops’s chin before straightening. The cat squeaked approvingly. “Coaches football and track at the high school now. And teaches advanced history or philosophy sometimes. Something hard.” She shrugged. “Nice guy.”
“Yeah. He’s… different now. Stronger, confident. And, well, not so scrawny anymore,” Tyler said, a hint of awe coloring his tone.
“Not even a little. He grew up hot. Like porn hot. Wild.”
“You’ve seen him, then.”
“Duh! Dumbass, I live here. We’ve been friends forever. Mom knew him. We didn’t stop existing when you moved away. Cinnamar ain’t big. I’ve known Joshua my whole life.”
“I guess, but I didn’t realize you two were that tight.” He knew he was acting strange but couldn’t stop.
“Everybody knows everybody. But he’s a really close friend.” She swatted at him with the spatula. “FYI, for the record, the whole entire town is, like, obsessed with his butt.”
“Mmmh?” Tyler tried to look nonchalant.
“Legs too. And his arms, actually. Big blue eyes. And Bernice at the drugstore has a real thing about his dimple.”
“He has a dimple too?”
“Well, well, well….” Nadia crooked an eyebrow and an evil grin, no doubt aware of the implications. “Is the big bad jock getting worked up working out with a nice small-town boy? I think I saw that Christmas movie, doofus.”
“Come on, it’s not like that,” Tyler protested, but his cheeks flushed hot. He couldn’t help but find himself drawn to Josh, his beauty and the strange silent connection they’d shared.
“Right,” Nadia teased, handing him a plate stacked with breakfast. “I’m sure your appreciation of his massive deltoids is purely platonic.”
“I didn’t— We didn’t even talk, Nadia. How would I? I didn’t even know him.”
“You’re an NFL player, doof. The whole town knows you. Doreen keeps a goddamn scrapbook on you that she takes to people’s houses. Swear to God.” She raised her right hand.
“No. I meant in school. Me-me. Real me. He probably doesn’t even remember me from back then. Or maybe I was a dick. He probably hated my guts.”
Nadia paused then, just searching his eyes a moment, as though she wanted to confess something, but after a long awkward silence, she did not.
“What?”
“Y’know?” She stole a piece of bacon off his plate and ate it as she teased him. “He does the town calendar every year as a favor, and he’s not even a firefighter. But he’s always July, so it’s always Lycra trunks. Child! Hot. And smart. And nice. I mean, I know you got all them athletic supporters on speed dial in San Diego, but y’know: hamburger, steak.” She mimed scales and weighed the gay hookup options for him.
“Okay, fine,” Tyler admitted, rolling his eyes. “I’m not blind. He’s attractive, for sure. But it was a… a feeling more than anything. A good one. He gave me space. I can’t remember the last time someone gave me that kind of space.”
“Well, good,” Nadia mused, her teasing tone replaced with gentle warmth. “Wait, so you didn’t talk. Were you rude? I hope you weren’t rude to him. He’s, like, the nicest.”
“No? I don’t think so. I’m not sure. Well, maybe,” Tyler allowed, taking a bite of eggs. “I can’t explain it. It felt right.” In his heart, he knew something had shifted this morning, a first step. “Running. Sunrise. Breathing. He just… helped me being there.”
“Of course he did. That’s Joshua.” She nodded like she understood, and maybe she did.
They tucked into breakfast, including Mr. Poops, who smacked happily at his bowl in the corner.
“Well, I’m definitely running again. It felt great. Which means I guess I’ll probably see him tomorrow. He seemed like a good guy.”
“He is. So promise me one thing,” Nadia said, her voice suddenly serious. “Let yourself heal, Ty. Catch your breath. You deserve happiness just as much as anyone else.”
Tyler looked into his sister’s eyes and saw all the worries and hopes she kept to herself. He nodded, holding tight to this funny, sunny feeling he couldn’t shake. He held up his index finger and dragged two lines across his chest. “Cross my heart.”