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CHAPTER 27: ROACH MILK

When she was still a naïve child, Lily had envisioned the mall to be a place that gives away goods to you if you are rich and famous. Now that she is a naïve adult, her views on the logistics of malls have yet to change.

Actually, there is some truth in that disoriented thought of hers.

“Isn’t that nice, Lily?” her man asks her, pointing to a micro skirt displayed behind the mirror of an adult clothing shop. They had driven for an hour from their small town into the city, since their homey little small town doesn’t have any high fashion shopping place. Or even anything that resembles that.

Lily brushes him off with a flip of her delicate little hand, nails now manicured thanks to the spa session her filthy-rich CEO billionaire boyfriend paid for. “Dude, that wouldn’t even cover my ass.”

“You’ve got a point, sugartits.”

“I didn’t say I’m against it.”

A grimace pains Every’s face. “Girly, we’re not even married.”

Then the scream of a banshee turns both their heads. Like what the fuck, man?

“Ah, ha.” Some girl Lily vaguely recognizes from university struts over to them in some weird cat walk, flapping her arms like a duck. Dark red lipstick lines her lips, and a knock-off Birkin hangs from the crook of her shoulder as if she’s some girl from the early two-thousands who posts about depression on Tumblr. But her most telling accessories are the two friends hanging off her arms.

Oh, shit.

Looks like they have encountered the Fangirls.

The silent danger, which might be more hazardous than the mouse king himself.

Not now, bitches.

“That’s you, isn’t it?” The random mean girl points a similarly manicured fingernail as Lily’s straight at her man.

And Lily Leeta Lettuce, since she is such a shy, timid girl, does nothing.

Her man, always the cocky, overconfident guy, nods as if to a business partner. “Yep, this is me. Wanna buy the Golden Gate Bridge or a rock I got from the moon?”

The mean girl exchanges looks with her besties. “Dude, no, I didn’t mean that. Aren’t you that band frontman?”

This time, a wide smile really crosses his face. Lily eyes him suspiciously.

Bro is so sus right now.

“Of course I am,” he finally answers.

The stranger girl claps her hands. “Wow, I can’t believe it. You suck so bad. According to the New York Times, you even walked into the column once when you tried to bring your pitch up. But failed.”

Every still smiles proudly.

What a confident guy.

Lily’s heart melts at that.

He slides a hand through his thickly gelled hair. “Thank y’all for the compliments. Actually, I even fell down the stage once as well, right onto my bodyguard. Some behind-the-stage info for you: he quit the next day.”

The girls all coo at him as if he is a baby bird, which reminds Lily of that time he was an actual alien bird. One of the main mean girl’s bestie turns to him. “Can we take some pictures, then? I’m sure that nerd over there will do it for us.”

They look straight at Lily-girl.

Damn, sometimes she forgot her social status outside of Fairyland.

And these hoes seem to be some sort of status police sent to remind her.