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“I am going to sleep downstairs tonight,” William said roughly.
“Why?”
He turned toward her, slowly. “Why do you think?”
She lowered her eyes. “Because you can’t stand the idea of sleeping next to me?”
He kept silent.
“I won’t apologize for wanting to find out more about you. You can’t fault me for that when you have told me nothing about your life.”
“I’ve told you everything you needed to know to make judgments about me and I showed you the rest! For all my faults, I never explicitly lied to you.”
“Yes, only by omission.” She looked at him then, fire blazing in her inky-black eyes. “How was I to know you didn’t omit a mistress or two?”
William’s head snapped back as if she’d slapped him, and she might as well have because it would’ve hurt less. “You were the unfaithful one, or need I remind you? And did you truly believe that after last night, after this morning when I fucked you in front of that mirror”—he waved a hand—“I would go to rut on some other woman?”
“No,” she said quietly, her breaths labored, her breasts straining against her nightgown, distracting him. “I didn’t think that. That was Caroline’s assumption.”
“Good to know how easily you’re swayed,” he said bitterly.
“You can’t expect me to trust you blindly.”
“Why the devil not?” he barked, his mind reeling with emotions. Hadn’t he proved himself enough? Hadn’t he shown her over and over that she was the only woman he wanted?
“Because trust is earned! And do not pretend to be a saint!” she cried and rose to her feet, pointing the brush toward him. “You didn’t trust me either. Otherwise, why would you keep Melissa from me? And why would you not tell me that you are the one who started the shelter I happen to patronize?”
William blinked. “So, Melissa told you that.”
“Yes!” she snapped. “Or did you think I would not notice that her son carries the same name as the person from your nightmare? Did you think I would not ask her about that? What else are you omitting and why?”
“Because those things do not define me!” he growled. “And I don’t want you to think that they do. I don’t want you to think that I am some kind of a knight or a hero. I don’t want you to forgive me because somehow the good I’ve done might outweigh the bad in your mind. It does not! I want you to love me and accept me for who I am and not for what I can do for others or even you.”
Victoria looked down, her lips pursed and huffed. “So, you want me to know only the bad. You don’t want to share your past, you even hide half of your present and you expect me to love you nonetheless!”
“I want you to love me for who I am,” he repeated with a shrug.
Victoria let out a bitter chuckle. “You are so confused that you don’t even realize this is who you are! And yes, you’re a thief, a blackmailer, and an all-around criminal. But you’re also a man who helps his sister. You are also a man who cares about others. You’re all of those things. You are the sum of all your past and present, not just your mistakes and your flaws.”
“That’s your issue, Victoria,” William said gravely. “You think that my stealing, blackmailing, and everything else were mistakes. But they were not. They were choices and things I would choose to do again. Things I will do again. Things I am good at. And if the things I am best at are my flaws, then all I am is a flaw. If you can’t accept that, then you can’t accept me.”
Victoria just stared at him, her mouth partly open.
William nodded sharply. “That’s what I thought.”
* * *
The desperation in Victoria’s core was a living, breathing being. Her thoughts were muddled, and her mind was a jumble of incoherent thoughts. Even if they weren’t, her heartbeat was so loud she could barely hear any of them.
All she knew was that she didn’t want William to leave. She didn’t want him to think all those awful things he was thinking at the moment, yet she couldn’t say a coherent word if she tried.
She didn’t want to spend the night without his warmth by her side, without hearing his quiet breathing as he slept.
So, she did the only thing she could do. She flew into his arms and kissed him deeply. She expected him to wrap his arms around her, pull her close to his body, and return her kisses. He did none of those things. He just stood there, bed sheets still clutched in his arms, his body rigid, his lips pursed.
Victoria broke the kiss and stared at the cold, unyielding expression on his face, his dull and emotionless eyes, and a shiver traveled up her spine.
Not having anything clever or witty to say to pull him out of the current stupor, she opted for frustration.
