Page 80
“No, what?” I managed a steady voice, but tears were pricking at my eyes. I concentrated on not letting them fall.
Apparently, I didn’t do a good job, because he wiped one away with the pad of his thumb. He leaned in to lick another as it trailed down my cheek.
A shiver rolled through me, and I honestly couldn’t decide if I was moved or horrified. Probably a little of both.
He pulled back to look at me earnestly. “I liked the part where you still showed up tonight.” He bent to brush a soft kiss on my mouth and then dropped again on the bed.
Like that, I was flying again, almost as high as I had been in my orgasmic bliss. He had that power over me, whether I wanted him to or not.
I squeezed my eyes shut, more emotional now than ever and on the verge of falling for a man I shouldn’t fall for. Reeve was confusing and complicated at best. He could be tender as easily as he could be disparaging. He was definitely frightening. He’d done things that were very frightening. He may have even done things that, to know for sure, would destroy me.
But none of it had sent me running. That it didn’t said an awful lot about me that I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge. It said things I’d known for years and refused to accept. Since I’d torn myself away from Amber, I’d gone so far as to downplay my proclivity for depravity, said it didn’t define me or own me. I couldn’t get away with that anymore. I was owned by this, this type of relationship where a man, who did or did not have my best interests in mind, decided what I would do and be, what would be done to me. And that meant I was possibly even more confusing and complicated than he was.
It also meant I really did belong to him, in ways that were so much deeper than the way we implied when we said it to each other. I belonged to him the way that a good idea belonged to the person who thought it. Though I’d existed before Reeve in bits and pieces, he had put them together and named me, and now I’d never be what I was before him. In some way, no matter what happened with us in the future, I’d always be his.
But I’d also always be Amber’s. She’d been the only person to recognize the woman in the scraps of nothing that I’d been. And because of that I’d keep looking for her truth. Searching threatened what I had with Reeve, but until I put her to rest, I could never wholly belong to him anyway.
He shifted next to me again, pulling the sheet up from where it was gathered at our feet. As he tucked the sheet around me he said, “I have to go on a trip. For a couple of weeks, at least. Maybe longer.”
“Okay.” His news pinched at my cloak of peace, causing my chest to tighten.
He turned on his side and dragged me into him so he could spoon. This was new too, and I loved it. I was sure it stemmed from our understanding. He felt as compelled to shelter me as I was to retreat into him.
He nuzzled at my neck, his breath warm and welcome on my skin. Lazily, he said, “You’ll come with me.”
“Okay.” Anywhere he said, I’d go.
“Good.” He kissed the back of my ear. “We’ll leave for the ranch tomorrow.”
The ranch. He was taking me to the ranch where Amber was last with him.
I’d never been very spiritual, but it was impossible not to see this as a sign. Even the gods wanted me to discover what happened to her. Even they were laying out the path to take me where I needed to go to do just that.
Or they desired that I find the same fate she did. I hadn’t completely discounted that possibility either.
CHAPTER 22
Reeve woke me up early the next morning, sending me to my house to pack a bag. “Don’t worry about bringing too much. We can get you anything you need in Jackson.”
“Okay,” I said, pulling on yesterday’s jeans.
“I’ll give you enough time to get a wax appointment. You’ve finally got enough hair to go in.” He nodded in the direction of my crotch.
I blushed. “You noticed.” Of course he would. He was down there more than I was.
“Yeah, and guess what.” He beamed. “You’re a natural blonde.”
Just as I was about to head out, he called after me. “I meant to ask you, were you in my office last night?”
I swallowed the panic rising in my chest. How the hell had he known? “I was. I got bored waiting for you and played some solitaire. Was that okay?”
“Of course. You left your game open. I finished it for you before coming to bed last night.”
My heart was still racing, but Reeve seemed genuinely unbothered by it so I forced a bright smile. “Silly me. Did we win, at least?”
His face was hard to read when he said, “Oh, Blue Eyes, I always win.”
Filip rang my doorbell at two that afternoon. I grabbed my sunglasses and carry-on and locked up while he put my suitcase in the trunk. He opened the back door for me and I slid in next to Reeve. He was dressed casually in loose jeans and a long-sleeve flannel button-down. A pair of Tom Ford Aviators hid the eyes that I was sure were brought out by the blue in his shirt.
