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“Definitely,” I agree, pressing a kiss to his forehead while he settles in.

We lay there for a few minutes, all catching our breath. There’s a strange sense of importance in this moment, the weight of how perfect today was, clashing with the fact that we have to go back to reality tomorrow. I hope this trip is truly just the official beginning for the three of us, but I’m still sad we have to go back to real life.

“As much as I’d love to stay in this little nest, we should clean up a bit,” I finally relent.

Scotty groans, but Joey nods, and untangles himself before heading to the bathroom. The sink turns on, and he comes back with a damp washcloth to gently wipe down Scotty’s stomach first, then mine, before taking care of himself.

“Need a shower, Scotty?”

“I’m good, I’ll just pop into the bathroom quick,” he groans as he pushes up from the bed, and when he’s back a few minutes later, we all climb under the sheets, Scotty between us.

The warmth of their bodies, the coziness of the blankets, and the profound sense of rightness wash over me as I remind myself there’s no need to be so melancholy when I know the three of us can make this work.

26

“If you want to come over tonight, we should be back from returning the rental car in an hour,” Patrick comments when we’re about fifteen minutes from my apartment.

“Oh, umm,” I hesitate. Even though I’d love nothing more than to never go home again. Screw my stuff, I’ll just bring what I have with me and never go back to my lonely apartment again.

Ugh, but the crushing weight of reality is growing heavier with each passing mile. I have plans and responsibilities I need to consider, I can’t just blow up my whole life to play house with them, no matter how much I might want to.

Not to mention the reminder that they are going home, to the same place, as a couple who already lives together. They might have sounded confident about dealing with the complications of being a throuple when it was all hypothetical, but will they actually want to explain our relationship to people anytime soon? To put up with scheduling their free time with me instead of us all constantly being in the same place like we have been on this trip?

I want to date them, I really do, but I have some concerns about how realistic it is. If we were all living in the same building like we did fifteen years ago, it would be so much easier. Instead, I’m now a walk and subway ride away. I think it’ll be best for us if we’re realistic about what that kind of limitation means and take things slow. Besides, I need some time away from their gorgeous bodies and perfect smiles to talk all this through with Tara without my dick getting in the way.

This whole drive back, I’ve been trying to ask myself questions about our possible future, and the thing I keep going back to is if there’s anything that could convince me I’ll eventually feel like an equal member of the relationship, or if a part of me will always feel like the odd one out.

I still don’t know. But even if I do always feel like the second choice, is it better to get the silver medal than walk away from the game entirely?

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have real feelings for both of them already. I hate the idea of ending things.

But I also don’t want to sign up for heartbreak if it’s inevitable.

Maybe I need to do some research into polyamory. It’s not anything I’ve considered before this trip, and right now it feels like such an abstract concept.

I have no clue if that would actually help me feel any better, but I have an insanely busy week ahead of me. The last thing I need is to be so lost in thoughts of Joey and Patrick that I mess up this big gala.

“Did you not want to come over?” Joey asks, obviously concerned I didn’t answer Patrick. I hate that I’m the reason he sounds disappointed, even if a tiny part of me is relieved that he is because it reminds me how much they seem to want to make things work.

“I do,” I assure him. “It’s just that I have to work tomorrow, and I’m thinking about the logistics. Tara got back today, and she’s coming over to my place in the morning. We need to continue getting ready for her New Year’s Eve charity gala that I volunteered to organize, and it’s a huge event. That’s on top of a few smaller parties my company is hired for. I’ll need to check in with my whole team tomorrow to figure out what—if anything—they need from me. I’m already exhausted just thinking about it all.”

“Shit, that sounds busy,” Joey replies.

I nod. “It was great to get an unexpected trip and break from it, though.”

“I bet. We both took vacation time so we don’t have to work until the fourth.”

“Do you have any events on the twenty-ninth?” Patrick asks.

“No, just getting ready for my New Year’s Eve one. Why?”

“We’re doing a late Christmas dinner with my nephew Jace and his husband, Kieran, since we’ll all be back in the city,” Joey explains.

“You have to come,” Patrick insists. “You’ll love them, and I know you’re really busy, but you’ll need to eat, right?”

I chuckle at his reasoning as I try to figure out how to respond. “Yeah, I’ll have to eat.”

Fuck. Do they even realize what they’re asking me, though? To meet their family? We’ve been on one date. How would they introduce me? A friend who recently moved back to town, oh, and by the way, we’re both fucking him. No. No way they’d mention us fucking. They’ve been married for twenty years; I doubt any of their family would take me seriously as a new addition to their relationship.