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As Chastity continued to talk, Patience felt the weight of her shortcomings pressing down on her. The garden seemed to blur before her eyes, the once-vibrant roses now a mocking reminder of her own inadequacies. What was she hoping to publish? She’d be laughed at by the scientific community, especially being so young and a woman.

Mentally, she chastised herself for feeling this way. Positive thoughts! she told herself. It was good that she hadn’t sent her paper yet. Perhaps she shouldn’t do this at all.

She was just a beginning botanist, as Chastity had said.

“Thank you, Lady Chastity,” said Patience, fighting to contain the pain of disappointment from spilling in tears. “You’re very knowledgeable.”

Chastity’s blue eyes saddened behind her spectacles. “I must have disappointed you. I am sorry. It’s not easy for me to make friends, but I do appreciate a fellow female scientist. There aren’t many of us. Would you care for a walk?”

“Of course,” said Patience and the two of them walked slowly towards Rath Hall, the sun warm on Patience’s face.

“Did you have to work hard to educate yourself?” asked Chastity.

Patience smiled. “Yes. It was not easy, though I’m sure if we’d had money to buy food and a cook to prepare meals, my parents wouldn’t have minded me growing roses, reading books, and making my notes. Instead, I had to grow what we ate, and my sisters prepared it.”

Chastity nodded thoughtfully. “Our positions are not to be taken for granted. I hope you do have freedom now to pursue it?”

Patience smiled. “Your brother is very supportive.”

“He is. He was for me, too.”

Patience frowned. “How so?”

“My deceased papa disapproved of my scientific inclinations greatly.”

Patience held her breath. That must have been what Dorian had started to tell her in the carriage when they visited the tenants. He’d told her something about Chastity and his papa, but then interrupted himself.

Chastity continued, “He burned my books, forbade me access to the library, and even took away all paper and ink for a while. He called me vile names. No one in my life has hurt me as much as Papa did. My brother fought for my right to study science.”

Chastity’s gaze flickered shortly towards the glasshouse as her face grew somber and took on a haunted expression similar to Dorian’s.

Patience’s chest tightened with empathy, and her heart filled with tenderness towards Dorian. This was yet another side of her husband. He was a man who protected his sister’s right to study what she wanted.

If only he would tell her about John… There was a mysterious, invisible thread that connected him and her, through her brother, and she wanted to know why.

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Chastity. My parents never burned my botanical books or took away my journals or ink. However, they told me to spend my time working in the kitchen garden rather than with my roses. For years, I had to carry out my research in secret. Thankfully, they couldn’t see what I was doing from the house. My own rosebushes hid me.”

Chastity smiled sadly as they came to the entrance into the house. “I suppose we have more in common than we both thought.”

Patience smiled as she tried and failed to lock her disappointment and sadness in her emotion basket. Why was this not working? She had been doing it every night by herself, and most of the time, it made her feel better… Except…

What if it wasn’t possible to run from these feelings? She’d never felt anything like what she felt towards Dorian before.

So…maybe she shouldn’t lock away these feelings?

Could she ask Chastity? Was this too new of a friendship to ask about the one thing that had been bothering her from the moment at Lady Buchanan’s soirée when she’d overheard Dorian speaking to Luhst and Pryde about John?

“Have you by any chance heard of Dorian’s connection with my brother, Mr. John Rose?” asked Patience.

Chastity frowned and narrowed her eyes, looking at her. “No, I’m sorry. I’ve never heard of Mr. John Rose. Was he present at the wedding? I apologize if I forgot.”

Disappointment fell through Patience’s stomach like a stone. “You have not forgotten. My brother died twelve years ago, and I thought our brothers might have known each other.”

She could have told Chastity about her worries. If they were real sisters now, she would have told her every worry she had and asked her for any tiny piece of information, any clue that could help her to discern this secret and get closer to her husband.

“Oh, I am so sorry, Patience,” said Chastity, biting her lip. “I did not know.”

“Please do not apologize,” said Patience with a smile and a little relief Chastity didn’t know about the suicide, that her opinion of Patience and her family wouldn’t be destroyed. “You did nothing wrong. It’s just…I’ve been always so surprised how your brother decided to marry me without ever meeting me.”