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The affirmation felt increasingly fake the more times she said it, like she was lying to herself.

“You relax and rest, babe,” she murmured. “When you get out of this coma, you’ll be groomed and fresh, as though you just slept for a long time.” She kissed him on the tip of his nose.

Then she applied his favorite aftershave. She inhaled the masculine scent of it, her mind filling with memories of watching Brad in the bathroom mirror as he slapped it on his cheeks. He inevitably grimaced as it stung him, and he made that “ohh-ahhh” sound that always made her smile.

Cathy watched closely, hoping to see an echo of the grimace.

But none came.

She put the shaving accessories in her purse, then gently picked a dark-blond lock from his shoulder. “Yeah, babe, it’s time for a haircut. Tomorrow.”

The edges of his hair were bleached from the sunlight he had been exposed to every day being a professional surfer and instructor, but the new hair that had grown since he’d been in the ICU was the color of dark wheat. She wished she could look into his blue eyes again. She wished she could see him smile at her. Tell her how beautiful she looked today. Tell her how much he loved her.

Tears welled in Cathy’s eyes. She cupped his jaw and brushed one of his high cheekbones with her thumb. “Come back to me, Brad,” she whispered. “Please come back to me.”

A knock made her jump and she stood up, quickly wiping her tears, then turned around. Dr. Gentzelman and Brad’s dad, Eric, stood in the doorway. Eric was Brad’s double, only older. Tall, well-built, with thick, blond hair that was already graying, he had the same blue eyes and a square jaw. But during the last twelve months, his shoulders had become slouched and dark circles had appeared under his eyes. And for the first time, Cathy noticed that he had begun to look like an old man.

“Hi, Cathy,” Dr. Gentzelman said. “Are we interrupting?”

Cathy pressed out a smile. “No, no. Of course not. Sorry, I’m just a bit emotional today.”

Dr. Gentzelman shook her head and smiled back politely. “Don’t apologize. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you.” She looked at Eric and added. “For both of you.”

The lines around Eric’s mouth deepened.

Cathy tucked her hair behind her ear. “I was already leaving, so you can have your time with him.”

She took her purse and was about to walk out when Eric said, “I need to talk to you, Cathy.”

With a sinking feeling in her stomach, Cathy gave a curt nod and looked at him.

“He isn’t getting better,” he said. “It’s been more than a year. Linda and I—we want to let him go.”

Cathy closed her eyes, pain crushing, whirling, knocking her, stealing the ground under her feet.

When she opened her eyes, Dr. Gentzelman and Eric were all blurry. “No,” Cathy said.

“You need to consider it, Cathy,” Dr. Gentzelman said. “I’m so sorry to say this, but Brad’s coma is most likely permanent. His brain shows almost no signs of activity, and after a year, the chances of him returning are almost null. We are keeping his body breathing and supplying it with nutrients, but Brad is not with us anymore.”

Cathy shook her head. “You don’t know that. He could still be in there. People come out of comas all the time.”

“Not after a year, Cathy.”

Eric’s chin trembled. He was looking at the floor, but finally he raised his eyes, red and watery. “You’re torturing him, Cathy. You’re torturing us—all of us, yourself included. He wants to go. Let him!”

He might as well have punched her in the stomach. She stopped breathing from the pain she heard in his words.

Seeing her reaction, Eric pressed. “He should never have given you the power to decide this. We’re his parents. If the legal decision was in our hands, we’d already have let him go. We’re ready.”

Dr. Gentzelman covered Cathy’s hand with hers. “Maybe it’s time you get ready, too.”

Tears fell down Cathy’s face. Her chest hurt. Hell, her whole body hurt. “No! While there’s still hope—”

“But there isn’t!” Eric yelled.

Dr. Gentzelman shook her head. “I’m so sorry.”

Cathy looked back at Brad, who was lying peacefully, as though he was just asleep and would wake up and they’d go to the beach. “I do not accept that,” she said. “If I’m the only one fighting for his life, well then so be it.”