Page 49

That made him feel so much better about their chances of surviving the siege. Though there was still no sign of the enemy.

The men at the base of the wall moved slowly, visibly tired after a whole day of heavy work. They stopped from time to time, leaning on the shovels and wiping sweat from their foreheads, no doubt anticipating dinner after an honest day of work, just like Konnor was. Yeah, dinner in Marjorie’s company and a cup of cool ale was be all he’d want right now.

He hadn’t seen Marjorie for a short time—probably not even an hour had gone by, but he already missed her. A dull ache in his chest at the sight of the castle scraped at his heart. What was Marjorie doing now?

Damn it. He’d never thought about a woman as much as he thought of her. It felt like ever since he’d met her, he’d expanded somehow, changed. He’d opened up to her about Jerry, and what he’d done to him, and she’d accepted him, not gasped in horror. She’d even kissed him…

It felt like his chest was so full with her—with a whirlwind of light, and bliss, and gratitude. He was so full with these feelings that his heart was about to burst open like a ripe watermelon.

What did it mean?

He was screwed, that was what it meant.

He was in over his head, forgetting his promise not to get attached, not to get emotionally involved. Fear chilled his bones and marrow. He was not falling for her, was he?

As he walked, he saw a small bunch of green hazelnuts surrounded by leaves with sharp ends lying on the ground. When his dad was alive, Konnor and he had kicked a soccer ball together in the backyard. That was how Konnor’s fondness for soccer had started. After his dad died, Konnor didn’t touch a soccer ball. He’d missed his dad so much, playing had been too painful. But while he waited for the school bus, he’d bounce pinecones or hazelnut bunches to occupy his time. Later, when Jerry started tearing Konnor’s and his mom’s lives apart, soccer hadn’t been painful anymore.

Playing soccer became a salvation. An escape. A way to feel closer to his dad. Perhaps, that’s why he’d been so good at it and become team captain. Same with the Marines.

He stopped before a hazelnut cluster and kicked it, smiling to himself as he did. Even here, seven hundred years back in the past, he felt like his dad watched over him.

He kept kicking the hazelnut bunch and didn’t notice how he close he’d come to the castle. He was already in front of the gates when Marjorie and Colin walked out, and Konnor’s heart gave a lurch at the sight of her. Their eyes locked and connected. She gave him a small wave, and he raised his hand to wave back.

She blinked as she looked him over and blushed. If he could, he’d show her how much he wanted to press her against him, skin-to-skin, to feel her naked and trembling against him. But he couldn’t. Konnor swallowed and put a fresh tunic on. She looked away.

An image came to his mind—of her watching him coming back from a hunt, beaming with joy and love and happiness, Colin and perhaps another child or two with broad smiles. A normal, daily routine, people who cared about him, who depended on him.

A family.

A family? Who was he kidding? He had no idea what a normal, daily life was. He knew he didn’t want to be like Jerry. He knew he didn’t want to have a family like the one he’d grown up in. Even when his dad was alive, he’d been deployed more than he was ever home, and Konnor only had a couple of memories of him. So what could he offer a woman with an eleven-year old son?

Absolutely nothing.

Even if he did try, he’d never be able to stay here. His mom needed him. His business was waiting for him. What kind of fantasy was he indulging in?

This heart-expanding bullshit and the elation in his chest was just an illusion.

He kicked the hazelnut bunch with his knee straight up and caught it. Marjorie and Colin stopped, waiting for him to approach. The boy stared at him with a suspicious frown.

Marjorie stood behind him. She’d changed into a simple dress the color of heather with white embroidery on the chest. Her hair was done in two buns, one on either side of her head and decorated with white ribbons woven into the hair. She looked like a noble medieval lady from a fairy tale. And despite the more feminine look than her usual breeches and a tunic, she had a dagger on the belt around her thin waist.

Breathtaking.

He only just stopped himself from dropping to one knee and swearing allegiance to her like a goddamn knight. He was losing his mind. She dressed like this for dinner, but she looked especially beautiful tonight.

“Is there a special occasion?” he said as he came close.

She seemed to blush even more. “Nae. I dinna normally dress in breeches, Konnor. This is how I dress every day. The work for today is done.” She threw a cautious glance at Colin. “But ‘tis good to feel normal, especially with the danger looming over us.”

Colin crossed his arms over his chest and blinked several times, watching somewhere behind Konnor’s back. Konnor followed his gaze but saw nothing, only the rare woods and grassy hills along the shore of Loch Awe. The boy looked anxious, breathing quickly, his face pale.

He was probably more shaken than Konnor had realized from the attempted kidnapping. Konnor locked his eyes with Marjorie and nodded in understanding.

“Of course, we do need to feel normal.”

“See. ‘Tis all calm. Dinna be afraid, sweet,” Marjorie said. “With me and Konnor and all these men, no one will take ye.”

Colin raised his chin, though he was still pale. “I’m nae afraid, Mother.”