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Even without looking, I knew I wasn't alone. At least one other person was nearby, which meant I'd had a complete meltdown in front of all of them. I was going to have to explain myself. They'd ask questions. I'd have to tell them why I was such a fucking mess.

"Quinn, just take another breath."

Lain. I could handle Lain. He knew.

I did as he said, taking another slow breath. I inhaled a mouthful of dog hair, but at least that gave me something to focus on aside from my embarrassment. I turned my head after that, still hugging Rom, but it took at least a few more minutes before I felt stable. Well, as stable as I got.

Ready to face the inquisition, I finally looked up.

Instead of an audience, there was only Lain. He sat across from me, still wearing his winter jacket. He'd taken off his beanie, at least, leaving his hair even messier than usual. Despite the obvious worry in his eyes, he didn't push me, sitting quietly with me until I was ready to talk.

I hated it. I hated that this happened often enough for him to know what to do. Lain was too young and hopeful to have to deal with a mess like me, yet here he was, as always.

"Sorry." The apology slipped out on a breath. I couldn't meet his eyes.

"For what?" He reached out, but only to pet Rom. It put him close enough to me that I could take his hand if I wanted the comfort, but not enough to pressure me.

I didn't deserve his friendship.

"For being like this." I hugged Rom a little tighter, almost managing a smile when he licked my face. "I'm sorry I embarrassed you in front of your friends."

Lain's eyebrows shot up. "Okay, so there are a few things to unpack there. First of all, you have no reason to apologize. I know what happened, remember? You have every right to be triggered by what just happened."

"But—"

"Nope. No 'buts'. Second, you did not embarrass me, and if any of them had judged you for this, I don't need their friendship."

"But you brought them here to help Typhon, and instead, we're sitting in my entryway because I had a stupid panic attack." Lain was saying everything I needed to hear, but my brain couldn't accept that he really meant it. While I knew he meant it about himself, there was no way the rest of them weren't judging me.

"Hey." For the first time, there was an edge of steel in Lain's voice, and his eyes narrowed. "Don't do that. Don't diminish what you survived just because you're embarrassed right now."

I was screwing this up, as usual. I opened my mouth to apologize yet again, but shut it when Lain shook his head. He knew me too well.

"We should go deal with whatever that was," I said instead.

"I know you're just trying to change the subject. Ori is dealing with it right now."

"They probably need backup, though. Please, Lain," I added when he looked ready to disagree. "I can't deal with this right now on top of whatever is happening with those soldiers. One crisis at a time, okay?"

He pursed his lips, clearly not happy with the suggestion, but finally, he nodded. "Okay. But once we deal with this, I think it's time to reconsider my advice."

"I'll think about it," I lied. Lain had been nudging me to see a therapist for awhile now, but I'd put him off every time. I knew what was wrong with me, and the very last thing I wanted was to relive every detail with a stranger, especially one I'd then have to see around town afterward. Lowery's Crossing was small, so the odds of that happening were too high for me to risk it.

"Liar." Lain's smile was resigned as he got to his feet, then offered me a hand up.

"Thanks, Rom," I murmured, giving my dog a quick kiss on the head, then accepting Lain's hand.

"Can I hug you? I think I need to."

This was why Lain was my best friend. I nodded, and he pulled me to my feet and into his arms, hugging me as tightly as he could with his giant coat on. There were only a few people in the world I could handle hugs from, and Lain was top of the list. He laid his head on my shoulder, long enough to breathe out a quiet sigh, some of the tension draining from his body. It had the same effect on me, easing my lingering fear and embarrassment until I felt almost back to normal.

The moment was peaceful, so of course Lain had to interrupt it. I didn't even need to see him to know he was smiling when he said, "So, I have some questions about the hot guy in your kitchen."

Lain and I walked into a standoff when we entered the kitchen. He made me take a minute to settle my anxiety, and I'd explained Typhon's new form as best I could, then squared my shoulders, ready to face the current problem. My mess of a personal life could wait.

I didn't know how to deal with this, though. Typhon stood on one side of the kitchen island, while Alex and Detective Parker stood on the other. Ori had put themself between the two parties, but had angled their body so they were facing Typhon. Typhon's attention shot to me when we entered the room, and even from my spot in the doorway, I could see in his eyes how close the beast was to the surface. I'd seen it before and it hadn't scared me then, but now I couldn't stop myself from flinching away.

No one was speaking, and immediately I could feel the tension gripping me again. I did not do well with confrontation, and this had all the makings of being an absolute disaster.