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“Should’ve come to work for me.”

Erato slurped more ice cream.

“You frown on extramarital sex.”

“I have extramarital sex.” Hera said.

“AHA! J’accuse!”

Erato dropped the bowl, fortunately emptied of ice cream, on the pristine carpet and pointed her finger at Hera.

“You accuse me of what exactly? Having sex? I’ve been divorced since the institution of divorce became legal in the world.”

And uncomfortable silence reigned.

“Ahem…” Erato seemed to consider her thoughts carefully. “So about all this extramarital sex you’ve been having, Your Majesty⁠—”

“Are you trying to ask me if I slept with Nemesis? I have. Did I shock you? Did the straitlaced, boring, jilted Hera surprise you, Muse? I’ve been with women before. Just never…”

Hera trailed off, trying to catch up with her mouth.

What was she trying to say? Why was she trying to say it?

“Just never what?” Chin in her palm, Erato was listening avidly. Hera shrugged.

“Nothing, Muse. Just nothing. Again, what are you doing here? And don’t give me any bullshit answer.”

“Well,” Erato dropped her face in her palms. “I-am-here-to-keep-you-company-and-make-sure-you-don’t-do-anything-foolish.”

She rushed through the explanation. Hera all but smacked her head on the wall behind her. If not for the headache.

“Demeter sent you?”

“Dite too. Hades voted yes. And so did the other muses.” Before Hera could summon her power, Erato lifted her arms in the air. “Do not kill the messenger. Oh, and Hermes voted yes too, so actually you can kill him.”

“And they sent you? You? The sensible, calm, chill, reasonable Muse of Smut? To keep me in line? Of all the possible deities they sent you?”

Erato dropped the arms.

“What’s wrong with me?”

“Aaaaaaa!” Hera actually screamed. These people were driving her crazy.

Erato all but leapt to her feet, then predictably stumbled and fell flat on her face right into Hera’s lap, tangled up in the ivory skirts and flailing pathetically, further pulling on Hera’s dress.

Hera thought that the indignity of this situation could not be worse. The dress slid down perilously on her chest, exposing the tops of her breasts.

And then Zeus walked in.

Hera promptly reconsidered her earlier assertion. Clearly, things could get worse. Because Hermes was on the heels of Zeus. The Messenger blinked once. Then blinked again. Erato chose to grunt and pull harder on Hera’s dress. Hermes’s note-taking pencil was in his hand in a second, and he was off, scribbling away furiously on his phone.

Hera stopped moving. Erato, perhaps sensing her motionless state, followed suit.

“Ahem, Hera?” Zeus asked, and immediately ran out of words. Hermes obviously had not, since he was still scribbling.

“I am tired of asking all sorts of creatures what they’re doing in my house. But I guess now it is your turn, Zeus.”

He looked at her rather uncomprehendingly. Erato still hadn’t moved, her face perilously close to parts of Hera’s body she did not, under any circumstances, want near her sister’s future wife.