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“No time?” Hera lifted an eyebrow.

“Nope,” Aphrodite stretched gracefully, her high heels hitting the plush carpet floor with a muted thud. “Only time to ask you what the hell—sorry, Hades—just happened?”

Hera closed her eyes. She felt tired. Also wired in the exact wrong way. The wrongest way possible. She felt a pressure low in her abdomen, the desire to rub her thighs together to release it⁠—

Oh…

“Oh indeed.” Aphrodite’s smile was all sly knowing.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Hera knew her words had come out a little too quickly.

“Sure you don’t. But just as surely, you know better than to attempt such a lie in the presence of the Goddess of Love. And the Muse of Smut. And while I am just a mere Goddess of Harvest, the way these two rushed to get your ass alone here to gossip told me all I needed to know. What gives, sister?”

Demeter’s face was all cat that just savored a particularly juicy canary. Hera did not like it one bit.

“Is the privacy of my affairs too much to ask for?” She deliberately lowered her voice. Erato made herself even more comfortable on the desk, now sitting fully on it, absolutely undeterred.

“So there’s an affair?” Demeter grinned. Erato winked at her before leaning closer to Hera.

“Here’s the thing. And you tell me if I’m wrong. Like blink or something. I think Nemesis is trying to seduce you. AND IT’S WORKING!”

Erato lifted her voice and her arms above her head. Demeter nodded. Aphrodite giggled.

“Would work on a corpse, Hera. And while you’ve been dead for centuries, even you are not that dead.” Aphrodite shrugged.

“A corpse is by definition dead, Dite. And where is that derelict wife of yours that lets your pregnant self gallivant all around by yourself these days?” Hera aimed a particularly vicious glare at the Goddess of Love, who stared back unrepentant as she answered.

“Teaching something. Don’t worry about my marriage. You made sure it worked this time. Don’t deny it. I know a blessing when I see, feel, and carry one. Weeks into the matrimony, too. So when you go around blessing people—did you mean to swell this planet’s population to eight billion, because why?—and gods and goddesses, you really thought nobody would notice? What gives, Hera? Next, we shall hear about Artemis forgoing her vow of chastity or something equally amorous.”

Everyone gasped. Hera shook her head. Artemis was a conversation for another time.

Erato leaned closer. “I thought you wanted Zeus back?”

“Oh titans, give me strength!” Demeter covered her eyes with her palms. “Tell me you do not want that!”

“They’re all dead, though? Zeus killed them, I thought? Titans, I mean.” Erato looked uncomprehendingly.

“Like he just killed the mood I have for this conversation. He tends to do that. Why did you have to bring that clit-shrinking asshat up? I thought we were talking about Vengeance?” Aphrodite’s voice was all disdain.

Hera sighed. The words spilling all around her were giving her a migraine.

“I don’t want to talk about Zeus. Sabine will take care⁠—”

“I KNEW IT!” Erato jumped down from the desk and ran a circle around the office before stopping in front of her future wife and giving her a loud smooch. “I fucking knew Sabine was out of retirement! Oh, Fates, that woman shall never rest.”

Aphrodite gave Hera a long stare.

“She promised me never again, Hera. She shot her last arrow at Beltane. She missed. Or, well, not missed exactly. Nemesis evaded her.”

Erato whistled.

“So I heard, even though I’ve yet to find out who the supposed Perfect Match for Nemesis was. Because whoever she was trying to shack Vengeance up with… Good luck to them.”

Hera lifted her face so fast that her head spun.

“What are you even talking about? Nemesis is not paired with anyone.” Hera tried to choose her words carefully. “And before you give me any more grief, I asked her for help with an issue. She’s doing just that.”

She tried to look as nonchalant as possible. Even glanced down at her nails.