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“Have you ever been in a real relationship?”
“Yes.”
He looks surprised.
“Before the band, there was a guy back home. You probably don’t remember because you were too young. We were together for almost three years. I thought we were going to make it work. He was even excited when I got the call to join the band. But when the touring became real, he said he didn’t want to date somebody who was going to be gone eight months out of the year.”
“I never knew that.”
“That’s because I never told anyone.”
“Why?”
“Because it broke my heart, and I wanted to move past it. Talking about it wouldn’t have changed the outcome.”
Nikko’s quiet for a while.
“I’m sorry.”
“It was a long time ago.”
We get to the pond and stop at the edge. The ice is thick enough to walk on, but we’re both California boys, so we would never dare to even try.
“Fox, for what it’s worth, I think you and Finn would actually be really good together.”
I glance at him. “Why?”
“Because you’re both people who take care of others. You’ve been taking care of me since I was born. Finn takes care of a whole town. Neither of you gets taken care of very often, and I think you would both be really good at doing that for each other.”
I don’t know what to say.
He takes my left hand and lifts it up, running his finger over the scar across the back of it that goes from the base of my thumb almost to my wrist.
“You got this from climbing after me when I got stuck in the oak tree by the house. You were what, sixteen?”
“Seventeen.”
“I was seven. I was terrified and screaming, and you came up after me and got me down, and the whole time you were trying not to let me see you were bleeding. Finn is the same, from what I can see. So yeah. I think you two would be really happy. For what it’s worth.”
I look at the scar for a long moment.
“Maybe after the festival,” I say. “I’ll tell Bastian after the festival. Finn is drowning right now. I’m not going to be one more thing for him to worry about while he’s trying to save Christmas.”
“You should probably tell Finn first.”
I laugh. “Yeah. It’s fucking scary though. What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“Has he sent you packing any of the nights you’ve turned up at his place?”
“No.”
“There’s your answer.”
It seems so simple. To believe that Finn feels the same way I do, but what if he doesn’t? And even if he does, what do I have to offer him?
“Are you worried about the meeting with the label next week?” Nikko asks, changing the subject but hitting on the other thing that’s been weighing on my mind.
“I don’t know. They weren’t happy when we announced our hiatus and wanted us to just take a bigger-than-usual break before coming back.”