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“Probably not, but going to court takes time. And right now, you need a place to heal and rest.”
“Whose place is this?”
“It’s mine.”
A wall comes down over her expressions as her arms come up to wrap around herself. “Since when?”
“I bought it a few years ago,” I admit.
“I thought you lived at the clubhouse.”
“I spent most of my time at the clubhouse. I’ve only really been back living here while I was healing myself.”
Fuck. She looks so closed off, I don’t know what to say or do that won’t push her further away.
“I can’t stay here, Lick.”
“You can. We need somewhere we can bring our son home to.”
She jolts away from me, her eyes darting up to mine as she licks her lips nervously. “I won’t let you take him from me.”
I feel myself go deathly still. She looks like she’s moments from bolting. I’m standing on dangerous ground, one that’s been planted with mines by her ex-husband.
“I would never fucking do that,” I tell her emphatically.
“I don’t believe you. I haven’t been able to work, I’ve lost my shitty apartment, and I have no idea where all my stuff is, most likely thrown out in the streets. You have this big fucking house, a business you own, and a whole support system. I’d say the odds are stacked in your favour. Hell, it’s probably why you came back, isn’t it? You heard what kind of state I was in, and thought, hey, if she dies, I can just grab my kid and be free of her for good.”
She’s crying her fucking eyes out now, her words full of anger and fear, tripping all over each other.
I grip her arms and tug her back. “I swear to you here and now that I’m not trying to take Kendrick from you. I already know you’re going to be an amazing mother. Never once in all this did I ever question that.”
Her sobs quiet as she studies my face for the truth. I don’t look away because I have nothing to hide. Not about this.
“You promise?”
“I promise. I don’t want to take our boy away from his mom. I want his mom to let me in so I can be a part of this little family we’ve made.”
She swallows, looking lost and unsure.
“How about for now, we get you settled. Everything else can wait.”
“I don’t want to lead you on, Lick, and saying I’ll stay here feels an awful lot like I am.”
“You’re not. I’m the one who broke us. I’m the one who needs to put us back together again. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make me work for it.”
“What if I don’t want you to work for it? What if I have nothing left to give and I’m just done? Will you walk away then?”
Every part of me tells me to lie. To let her think she stands a chance at a new life without me, but something tells me she’ll know I’m deceiving her. Instead, I go with the truth, even if it might bite me in the ass.
“No. I won’t leave you, Emma. And I won’t watch you walk away either. I’ve already done that once, and it nearly killed me. I’m not letting you go again.”
“I didn’t want to walk away, but you shoved me out the fucking door, Lick. You don’t get to decide that it was too hard without me, then yank me back into this fucked-up relationship because it’s what’s best for you. And fuck you for thinking that’s all I’m good for—scraps and leftovers. You know I thought you and Dan were different, but I was so wrong. You both fucked up, humiliated me, and then expected me to forgive and forget. Well, I don’t owe you my forgiveness, and I’ll never forget what you did.”
“Emma—”
“No, Lick. I’ve kissed two men in my life. I’ve listened to those men make me promises, only to share those lips with another, turning promises into lies. I’m so tired of being the butt of the joke. I just want to be left alone now. I tried, and I guess dating isn’t for me. I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me, but your kindness doesn’t buy you my forgiveness.”
I feel my plans unravelling as I read the conviction on her face.
